June 24, 2009
– Show opens in-ring with Krow, who wants a final battle in the form of a loser leaves FWO match with Graphic Violence. However, GV comes out and lets Krow know that he’s having “too much fun.” Gotta love the psychology here, as GV is forcing Krow to play the game on his own terms, not Krow’s.
– WOO! “SHUT YOUR UGLY MOUTH!” IS BACK, BABY! See how excited I am? All caps excited. Now print up some Jade Argent T-shirts and watch ’em sell. Argent is the future. Oh, and he demands a Cruiserweight Championship match against Michelle Masters. At the end, Masters has some sort of inside shoot comment I’m not sure if I get or not: “Me wrestling twice? Ted’s head may explode!”
– (1) Michelle Masters defeated Jade Argent in a Cruiserweight Championship Match via pinfall. Argent gets some good heel heat with a pre-match promo. They gave these two a good amount of time. At one point, Masters misses ‘Chelle Shattered, so Argent hits his own version of the springboard kick on Masters. Masters avoids Argent’s Butterfly Bomb by rolling through for a nearfall. Later, Masters hits ‘Chelle Shattered, then ‘Chelle Shocked (shooting star frog splash) for three. Some decent action in this one that picked up nicely near the end. (**1/2)
– A killjoy history video is shown, giving more vague hints about his identity.
– (2) One Eye & Xin Xin Xiong defeated Blitzkreig Funk (Hans Wilhelm & Bastian Von Bismarck) via pinfall. Match starts as One Eye vs. Hans Wilhelm, but morphs into One Eye vs. both Whacky Germans after Von Bismarck interferes. Eventually the new look X3 enters via cover of darkness to become One Eye’s partner. With Xiong and Von Bismarck on the floor, One Eye takes out Wilhelm with a spinning heel kick for the win. Post-match, Michelle Masters runs in, lights go out, and X3 vanishes. OK match. (*1/2)
– In-ring, Brawn is out to cut a promo and cut off his cast (courtesy of Jeff Garvin). Sadly, his father did not get to see his boy wrestle at Meltdown. Our condolences to Brawn and his family.
– (3) Spike Saunders & Callie Urban defeated the Legion of Dairy (cHEESE & egg NOG) via pinfall. Saunders/Urban are the default face team here, even though there’s really nothing to like about the combo so far from a fan’s perspective. Urban pins cHEESE after a Spiked (F5) from Saunders and Gentrification (shining wizard) from Urban. Pretty dull stuff. (*)
– Backstage, Leigh Landers assures Max Danger that she’s found him a worthy opponent.
– (4) Dave Morey beat Max Danger (w/Leigh Landers) via pinfall. Mike Bear eventually makes his way out to try and talk Meltdown strategy with Danger. End comes when Morey hits Danger with Plague of Darkness (sitout tombstone), which is Ruben Ross’s move. Very solid match with some good nonstop action by both guys. This is why double booking is bad. If this was given a few more minutes and they could’ve kept up this pace, this match could have been very good. (**1/2)
– In-ring, The Flying Frenchie is out to discuss killjoy. He’s willing to put his career on the line if killjoy puts up his mask at Meltdown Night 1. killjoy comes out and tries to stab Frenchie with a pen, but Frenchie catches him with a roundhouse kick.
– Backstage, Spike Saunders explains beating up Callie Urban last week, then runs into Alias and High Flyer in a segment that could possibly still be going on as you read this. OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. (Whoopsie production error: An extended version of this segment then plays right after. *Sigh* I need a drink.)
– (5) “Superstar” Vince Jacobs & Rana Venenosa vs. Spike Saunders & Callie Urban went to a double countout. Today’s mini-rant is on double booking: just don’t do it. We don’t really need two Spike/Callie matches and two Masters matches in one show. Seriously. You have quite possibly the best wrestler on the planet in Max Danger. And you’re double booking Saunders, Urban, and Masters? That is all. Anyway, after a ref bump, this match goes all to hell with the violence. Eventually, it ends in a double count out due to brawling on the floor. Mary-Lynn Mayweather and David Noble run out. High Flyer heads out and nails Jacobs with a sledgehammer, then hits Hypothermia (double underhook brainbuster). Match was way longer than it needed to be for that finish, and for the most part fell into a train wreck of spots with no psychology. (**)
– High Flyer vs. Rana Venenosa is announced for Meltdown Night 2.
– (6) Xander Scott vs. Impulse ends in a time limit draw. Things pick up a good bit after a really dull first half. Points to Scott for selling the hell out of the Sudden Impact (superkick). Impulse locks on the Message submission just before time expires. Impulse pretty much dominated this one, but these two lacked chemistry (off night for Impulse?). (*)
– Backstage, Siobahn McPhineas (Fairview Reed’s manager) walks.
– Elsewhere backstage, Ruben Ross finds Captain Kangaroo (aka Jade Argent). Ross, as usual, brings his insult A-game. “I’m RUBEN ROSS, BITCH! You tell me to shut my ugly mouth before I’m done talking, I’m gonna put my not at all ugly fist through your ugly ass skull.” He goes over his plan to win Meltdown. Argents goals: 1. Don’t hit Ruben Ross; 2. Beat the everloving dog^$%^$%^& out of anyone not named Ruben Ross; 3. Don’t get pinned by anyone not named Ruben Ross. Ross’s plan for himself: 1. Be awesome; 2. Try not to kill Argent, even though he pals around with Borey; 3. Win title shots once Argent and I have disposed of 38 pretenders.
– A video involving a time traveling killjoy airs. Yes, we have glimpses of June 27 and June 29. Coming in September: killjoy stars in “Flash Forward” on ABC.
– In-ring, William Beaven says goodbye to Seattle, as the FWO is taking their circus on the road. He then announces the mystery partners for Meltdown. “Superstar” Vince Jacobs’ partner is Sonny Silver. Alias’ partner is Khristian Keller! The entrance order for Meltdown is then revealed.
– (7) Keith Scott Zimmerman, High Flyer, & Michelle Masters defeated Krow, Alias & Karina Wolfenden via pinfall in the Match of the Champions. Excellent main event. Everyone got a chance to shine, and the action was just unrelenting. KSZ got the pin on Krow after dropkicking Krow into Flyer and then school boy rolling him up with a hand full of tights. (****1/4)
Final thoughts: The people who usually deliver did so again. Argent is coming on as a character to watch, Danger will be a huge star once he’s “paid his dues,” Ross needs a serious pushing, and the main event was just great. Despite all the good, this show just seemed to drag on at times. They could really stand to adjust the pacing so this show feels quicker.