[EAW] DCW Season 2 Premier – 2/9/16

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(DCW Intro plays…)

(Recap of the last season on DCW.)

(“Gay Bar” by Electric Six plays as highlights from DCW last reason play, The Jacob Steele memorial, formation of Team DCW, El Landerson defeating Kerry Keller, and highlights from TLA championship reign.)

(Then the logo for DCW ResERECTion flashes upon the screen, replays from the Heart Break Gal vs Y2Impact match show and TLA vs Aurora Rose, also shows Aren Mstislav and Vance Tybull defeating Tarah Nova.)

(The music slows down and a black and white filter goes over the video. A short video showcasing the downfall of TLA plays and footage of police storming the DCW arena goes across the screen. Then the door of the DCW HQs are shown being closed and being locked with a chain by police. Fade to black.)

(Text fades in that reads “Six Months Later.” and fades to black.)

(Footage fades in of Brian Kimb-O walking out of a police station. He pauses as the camera swings behind him and reveals a car waiting for him. Driving the car is a large man with a short beard. Kimb-O greets him as he enters the passenger seat of the car. The large man starts the car and starts driving off.)

Brian Kimb-O: Hey! James! Thanks for coming to pick me up buddy!

James: No problem man! What did they need from you this time? You’re not in any trouble are you?

Kimb-O: No, they just wanted me to answer more questions.

James: Oh thank god. I’m still shocked myself. I cannot believe that some of the talent were doing those things behind the scenes.

Kimb-O: Yeah it was disgusting, I’m glad that they’re in jail now. That’s partly why they brought me back in after so long. The finally managed to track down the last one.

James: They caught him?

Kimb-O: You bet, they got Eden. I just feel so bad for his wife. She was a nice lady.

James: Who would’ve thought that Montell Smooth, Vance Tybull, and Gabriel Eden were running an underground pedophilia ring inside of DCW.

Kimb-O: I know, but I have some good news. They gave me the keys back to the building and they’re letting us start up again. And Venom is back competing with Team DCW so how about you be on commentary with me?

(James looks over to Kimb-O and nods as the camera pans out as they continue driving. Fade to black.)

(DCW intro plays…)

(“Trap Queen” by Fetty Wap plays throughout the arena as the green, white, and red pyro goes off on the stage as the camera pans throughout the arena.)

Kimb-O: FINALLY! AFTER LONG WAIT, DCW IS FINALLY BACK! AFTER SIX LONG MONTHS DCW IS FINALLY BACK, LIVE ON THE EAW NETWORK! I’M BRIAN KIMB-O, ALONG WITH MY COMMENTARY PARTNER JAMES!

James: That’s right Kimb-O! And we are getting things started right off the bat with a championship match! Let’s send things down to Kerry Keller’s Mum!

Kimb-O: Actually it is Kerry Eursford now, James.

James: Fuck that. I’m still going to call that emo faggot Kerry Keller! ANYWAY! KERRY KELLER’S MUM! TAKE IT AWAY!

(Camera pans to the ring and shows Kerry Keller’s Mum getting read to announce the first match.)

(Dong! Dong! Dong! The DCW ceremonial gong is rung to signal the beginning of the match.)

Kerry Keller’s Mum: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

(“Something New” by Zendaya ft Chris Brown plays as El Landerson comes out in a special green attire with the DCW logo across his shirt.)

KKM: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California…he weighed in at 175 pounds……he is “The Bit Luchador”……..EL LANDERSSOOOONNNN!!!!

Kimb-O: El Landerson is back and better than ever guys! It wouldn’t be the DCW Season Premiere without the original luchador himself!

(“Call Me” by Blondie plays as Eris pops out of the backstage area energetic.)

James: A Vixen fighting guys? Seriously!? What kind of disgusting promotional tactic is this!

(The music dies down as El Landerson heads to the time keeper’s area where it appears the ring crew had been holding something for him. They hand him some roses as he rolls into the ring and approaches Eris with them, only to receive a punch to the face for his troubles.)

(Dong! Dong! Dong!)

Kimb-O: Landerson should have been more smart about, he’s part of Team DCW and she’s a member of Hexa-Gun, they could never just get along! That cheap shot by Eris has given Landerson a bad start in this match as he is left recovering on all fours, crawling to the ropes to try and pull himself back up!

James: Eris is following him as he does so and leans in to forcefully pull him up to his feet by the back of his mask! She keeps ahold of it to drag Landerson across the ring, bringing him to the turnbuckles so she can slam his face into them repeatedly! Eris backs away, allowing for him to slowly sink down and fall jaw first into the middle turnbuckle!

Kimb-O: Eris is getting as far as away from him as possible, it looks like she is trying to get momentum for something, but the question is what is it? She starts to run straight toward Landerson! WOAH! A hard kick to the ropes which causes the turnbuckle it’s connected to to smash right into Landerson’s face!

James: Landerson is in a bad way! He’s shaken, stumbling backward into Eris who throws him into the ropes! Dropkick! Landerson gets up and is then pulled in for a clothesline! Landerson ducks it! He avoids Eris’ clutches and then catches her in a head scissors takeover!

Kimb-O: Landerson getting in his first bit of offense in the match! Eris is returning to a vertical base but as she does so she is met with a kick to the abdomen! Wait, no, she caught it! Ouch! An enzugiri to the back of the head for her troubles!

James: There you go Landerson, show that bitch whose boss! She nearly falls over but she was close enough to the corner to save herself and maintain her footing by leaning on it! El Landerson is looking at the crowd, he’s excited! He scales up to the middle rope so that he hovers over her!

Kimb-O: Landerson holds Eris back by the arms and then grabs her by the hair! Punches in the corner as the fans count along and his punches become quicker in cadence!

Crowd: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINEEEEEE….. TEEEEEN!!!!

James: Landerson is looking to continue from there! He rears back his fist for a punch — but drops it and goes to plant a kiss on Eris! Landerson trying to get him some tonight but Eris slips away and ends up behind him! Landerson is still standing there on the ropes, he can’t stop her!

Kimb-O: Hang on, what is she doing?

James: Oh man! I think I’ve seen this move before, can it be!? Kimb-O, you are about to witness the most dangerous move in all of professional wrestling, Eris clutches Landerson by the family jewels and tosses him in the air — THE BALL-PLEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LANDERSON MAY HAVE LOST HIS MANHOOD RIGHT THERE!

Kimb-O: He just got dropped on his head James, how about we worry about that!? Landerson shakes the cobwebs and starts to get to a knee — but is hit with a Superkick! Eris follows it up with a standing moonsault! She then hooks the leg, is this it?

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOOOOO……THRRR —

James: Eris picks Landerson off the mat, she’s not done here yet! This isn’t fair, you can’t pick on special needs children like that!

Kimb-O: She has him up — THE DISCORDIA CONNECTS! A cover for real this time and this could really be it!

Referee: ONEEEEEEEEE!!!!……TWOOOOOOOOO!!!!…….THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

(DONG! DONG! DONG!)

(“Call Me” by Blondie plays once again as Eris rolls out of the ring in a hurry, leaving Landerson upset.)

KKM: Here is your winner…….ERIS LECAVAAAAAAAA!!!!

Kimb-O: Landerson looks to be in terrible spirits right now but there is a lesson to be learned from this.

James: Indeed, never trust one of those Hexa-sluts!

Kimb-O: Not exactly what I was aiming for but I guess it’s close enough.

(Commercial plays advertising Reasonable Doubt. It depicts DDD making out with Tarah Nova.)

James: And we are back! And we got a big match underway next!

Kimb-O: That is correct! During the season we had a two changes of DCW titles. One had to be vacated due to the former champion, TLA did not respond to our invitations to come back to the Legendary Rory Wilkins Auditorium and continue to compete in DCW.

James: It’s fucking odd. That Mexican fuck has changed. He doesn’t even care about his roots anymore. He just took his ball and left. We had no choice but to strip that spic of his title.

Kimb-O: Not only that. We saw Team DCW lose their tag team titles to the team of Piff Fumador and Dynamo Dynamite!

James: Yeah! That annoying Hot Topic motherfucker ruined everything for Team DCW! He screwed Team DCW, so they kicked him out. Smart move if you ask me. They needed to cut the fat.

Kimb-O: Yes and speaking of which we have the current tag team champions at ringside, right now, to observe this upcoming matchup.

(Camera pans to Piff Fumador and a blowup doll dressed in wrestling gear with “Dynamite Dynamo” written in Sharpie on it. Piff waves to the camera.)

James: And now we send things to our next match! Kerry Keller’s Mum, TAKE IT AWAY!

(Camera pans to Kerry Keller’s Mum standing in the middle of the ring.)

(Dong! Dong! Dong!)

KKM: The following Triple Threat Tag Team match is scheduled for one fall! And it is to determine the _#1 contenders for the DCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!

(“Power” by Kayne West begins to play as Y2Impact and HBG make their way out from the back and towards the ring. They are showered with boos from the crowd.)

KKM: Introducing first, representing Hexa-Gun, Y.. 2… IMPACT and THE HEART BREAK GAL, H! B! G! THE MERCENARIES!

Kimb-O: These two are my picks to win. Ever since losing their tag titles they have been on a warpath. The other teams better watch out.

(“Sound of Silence” by Disturbed hits as the stage and ramp begin to fill with white fog and the lights dim, then ONI and Victor Adams come out from the back and slowly make their way towards the ring.)
KKM: Introducing their opponents! First, representing the Sanatorium, this is… ONI and VICTOORR AADAAAAAMS!

James: And these guys are just scary. They give me the fucking creeps. They’re like if the Franchise Demon and Kerry Keller actually tried with The New Ministry. Or just tried in general.

(“Sing for the Moment” by Eminem and the lights dim and and slowly the lights begin to light as the intro of the song play and are fully lightened once Eminem begins singing. Cailin Dillon and Maxwell Dachs make their way out from the back and strobe lights begin to go off over the ramp and ring as the walk down to the ring.)

KKM: And finally, from the local IHOP! MAXWELL DACHS AND THE EAW SPECIALIST CHAMPION CAILINNN DILLOOOOOON! TEAM… D… C…. W….

(Dong! Dong! Dong!)

Kimb-O: And here we go! We have Cailin Dillon starting off against Victor Adams. Victor Adams easily powers Cailin into the corner opposite of where the Hexa-Gun members are standing. And Victor is just unloading with rights to the skull of Cailin.

James: It appears that she is having some trouble blocking the fists of the much larger Adams. Adams backing up now and charges at Cailin. BUT NO! Cailin ducks under and hits Adams with a dropkick to his knees and Adams is down!

Kimb-O: Cailin grabs the head of the kneeling Adams and spikes his head into the mat with a beautiful DDT! Cailin hits the ropes- OH WAIT IMPACT TAGS HIMSELF IN! CAILIN DIDN’T SEE IT AND CLOTHESLINES CAILIN!
James: And Impact hits the ropes AND HITS THE LIONSAULT IN ADAMS! IMPACT LOOKING FOR THE QUICK COVER!

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOO–

Kimb-O: No! Adams manages to kick out at two! Impact drags up the groggy Adams up too his feet and sets him up! Exploder suplex to Adams! And Impact is getting fired up! He tags in the Heart Break Gal!

James: HBG hits Adams square in the chest with an elbow drop! HBG then now mounts Adams and begins nailing him in the face with punches!

Kimb-O: That lunatic bitch is gonna break that poor man’s nose! Adams powers HBG off of him and gets to his feet! Adams grabs HBG and hooks both of her arms.

James: He could be looking for some sort of Dragon Suplex AND HBG GETS OUT OF IT AND HITS A PELE KICK TO ADAMS!

Kimb-O: Adams is staggering! HBG hits the ropes and hits Adams with a Lou Thesz Press followed by more punches to the face of Adams. James, it appears that Impact and HBG are targeting the face of Adams. HBG drags Adams to the corner next to Impact and tags him in.

James: But she stays in the ring and hits Adams with a split legged moonsault! Then Imp picks the man up and Irish whips him back into the ropes looking a for a clothesline BUT ADAMS DUCKS UNDER AND HITS IMP WITH A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE!

Kimb-O: This could be the space that Adams needs to get back into this match! AND IT IS AS HE TAGS IN ONI! ONI COMING HOT OUT OF THE GATE KNOCKING DOWN IMP! AND IMP IS LYING PRONE ON THE MAT AS ONI GETS IMP LOCKED INTO A CAMEL CLUTCH!

James: And Imp is stuck here! Since we are under triple threat rules Imp cannot break the hold by getting to the ropes!

Kimb-O: AND HE WON’T NEED TO AS HBG GETS INTO THE RING AND HITS ONI WITH THE TRAMP STAMP! ONI IS OUT COLD AS HBG DRAGS IMPACT TO HER CORNER AND TAGS HERSELF IN!

James: And HBG flies into the cover!

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOOOOO……THRRR —

Kimb-O: NO! MAXWELL DACHS BREAKS UP THE COUNT AND HIM AND CAILIN DILLON BEGIN BEATING DOWN ON BOTH HBG AND ONI!

James: Dachs and Cailin drag HBG to their corner and Dachs tags himself in! Dachs hits the ropes as Cailin gets HBG to her feet and Dachs hits the Dachs DDT! Dachs into the cover on HBG!

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOOOOO……THRRR —

Kimb-O: NO! HBG MANAGES TO STAY IN IT! You can see the frustration start to come across on Dachs’ feet, what can he do to put HBG away? Dachs signals to Cailin and they get HBG set up in the middle of the ring and each member heads to each corner! AND ONI AND IMPACT BOTH TAG THEMSELVES IN WITHOUT THE TWO KNOWING!

James: AND THEY THEY HIT THE PROSTATE CHECKER! HBG GOES DOWN! AND HERE COME IMP AND ONI THEY CLEAR THE RING!

Kimb-O: ONI SMACKS IMP ACROSS THE FACE AND HITS THE ROPES HE’S LOOKING TO BUILD MOMEMNTUM!

James: But no! IMPACT HITS THE EVISCERATION! IMPACT INTO THE COVER ON ONI!

Referee: ONEEEEEEEEE!!!!……TWOOOOOOOOO!!!!…….THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

(Dong! Dong! Dong!)

(“Power” by Kanye West hits as HBG drags herself into the ring to celebrate with Y2Impact.)

KKM: AND HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS Y2IMPACT AND HBG! HEXA-GUN!

Kimb-O: Wow! What a match! Piff and Dynamo Dynamite have quite the challange ahead of them! Now we are heading to commerical and when we are back we have the Triple Threat for the DCW World Heavyweight Title.

(Commerical advertising Reasonable Doubt. It shows DDD licking the pale clean shiny feet of Tarah Nova.)

KKM: The following triple threat contest is FOR THE DCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

(“Schism” by Tool begins to play around the arena as Eclipse Diemos makes his way to the ring.)

KKM: Introducing first, from Prescott Hills Sanitarium, Arizona, HE IS THE KING OF THE ELITE, ECLIPSE DIEMOS!

(“I Won’t Give In” by Asking Alexandria hits as Jason Cage makes his way towards the ring.)

KKM: Introducing his opponent! First! From Toronto, Ontario, Canada! He is The Sultan of Submission, JASON CAGE!

Kimb-O: AND HERE COMES DEMON NOT EVEN WAITING FOR HIS ENTRANCE! DARK DEMON IS CHARGING THE RING AND LOCKS UP WITH JASON CAGE!

Ref: (Without mic) RING THE GONG!

(Dong! Dong! Dong!)

James: Wait a minute! DARK DEMON JUST SLIDE OUT OF THE RING! DEMON IS OUT OF HERE! It appears that Demon doesn’t even care about the DCW title? What is Demon thinking?

Kimb-O: Well anyway Demon has left the arena and Cage and Diemos lock up in the center of the ring, Diemos is quick to get a standing side headlock. Cage uses the ropes to shoot him off, Diemos comes back on the rebound and get dropped with a shoulder block from Cage.

James: Diemos is visibly frustrated as he gets back to his feet. The two men reset and lock up again, this time Cage get the headlock, Diemos is able to slip out and grab an Arm Wringer which he transitions to a hammerlock.

Kimb-O: Cage finds a back door out of it and hit a rear amateur take down. Cage floats over into a front facelock. Diemos is able to reach his feet and with some effort drives Cage into the corner. The referee forces Cage to break, Diemos with a sucker slap to Cage face. Cage answers back with a right to Diemos’s face, then another, and another.

James: Diemos against the ropes, Cage with an Irish whip and nails Diemos with a clothesline. Diemos is up quickly but eats another clothesline, back up again but this time Cage plants him with a bodyslam and the cover.

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOO–

Kimb-O: Kickout as Cage starts to light up Diemos with knife edge chops to the chest. Diemos in the corner, Cage whips him to the other side, Diemos GOES UP AND OVER ONTO THE APRON. Diemos landed on his feet and climbs up the turnbuckle.

James: Diemos launches himself at Cage with a double ax handle, BUT CAGE CATCHES HIM COMING WITH A DISCUS PUNCH TO BREAD BASKET, SENDING DIEMOS TO THE CANVAS.

Kimb-O: Cage brings Diemos to his feet and hits a snap suplex. Diemos lands hard, Cage rolls his legs and brings them both back to their feet. Cage hook the leg, FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX WITH THE BRIDGE!

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOO–

James: KICKOUT AT TWO! Now Diemos uses the ropes to help himself get back to his feet, Cage Throws a punch as Eclipse turns, Diemos blocks it, Diemos with a wild punch, Cage ducks under and counters with a kneebreaker. Cage with another kneebreaker, and follows up with a back suplex combo with the bridge!

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOO–

Kimb-O: Cage now targeting Diemos’s leg with stomps. Diemos is able to reach his feet, but Cage takes him back down with a chop block. Cage grabs the leg AND LOCKS ON THE INVERTED FIGURE FOUR. DIEMOS CRIES OUT IN PAIN, CAGE HAS GOOD RING POSITION WITH HIS BACK NEARLY AGAINST THE ROPES.

James: DIEMOS TRIES TO TURN OVER, BUT CAGE WON’T LET HIM, DIEMOS MIGHT BE CLOSE TO TAPPING OUT, AND WAIT A MINUTE ONI OUT OF NOWHERE RAKES THE EYES OF CAGE EYES WHILE THE REF’S BACK IS TURNED! WHAT THE HELL IS THE SANITARIAN DOING HERE! ADAMS AND ONI ARE NOW AT RINGSIDE!

Kimb-O: Diemos breaks out of the hold and is up on his feet before Cage. Diemos on the attack with a flurry of punches as Cage stands up. Diemos throws another punch, Cage catches it, BUT DIEMOS COMES UP WITH AN CHOP THAT ECHOS THRU THE ARENA!

James: Diemos brings Cage to his feet and whips him off the ropes, Cage reverse and goes for a clothesline, Diemos ducks under and comes back with a sickening lariat, Diemos a cover!

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOO–

Kimb-O: Both men up, Diemos with a boot to the gut followed up with snap DDT and a pin attempt.

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOO–

James: Cage crawls to the bottom rope, Diemos uses his foot to press Cage throat against it effectively choking him. The referee scolds Diemos, but while Diemos has him distracted Oni pick up where his team member left off. He quickly lets go of the choke as Diemos lays in some stomps to a downed Cage.

Kimb-O: Diemos picks Cage up, Jason fights back with right hands to the gut. Cage with an Irish whip, and looking for a back body drop, BUT DIEMOS COUNTERS WITH A SWINGING NECK BREAKER.

James: The Crowd boos loudly, and Diemos takes a bow before climbing up the turnbuckles. Diemos waits for Cage to stand, AND HE HITS A BEAUTIFUL FLYING CROSSBODY! DIEMOS WITH THE COVER!

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOO–

Kimb-O: DIEMOS NOW WITH THE STRAIGHT JACKET SUBMISSION HOLD, STRETCHING OUT CAGE. JASON FIGHTS TO GET BACK TO HIS FEET, CAGE TRIES TO TURN OUT OF IT, DIEMOS CUTS HIM OFF WITH A BOOT TO THE MID-SECTION.

James: Diemos with an Irish whip, Cage reverses, DIEMOS WITH THE SPIKE DDT!!! Cage IS DOWN BUT DIEMOS ISN’T DONE YET. DIEMOS GETS CAGE UP AND HITS HIM WITH A CHARGING SPINEBUSTER, AND DIEMOS HAS THE LEG HOOK FOR A PIN

Referee: ONEEEEE…..TWOOOOO……THRRR —

Kimb-O: NO!!!!! CAGE SOMEHOW KICKSOUT!

James: Oh god. Diemos signals for the rest of his team to enter the ring! Not like this damnit! As all the members of the Sanitarium beating down on Jason Cage! This is disgusting even by DCW standards!

Kimb-O: WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S DARK DEMON! HE’S DARK DEMON! AND HE HAS BACK UP! HE’S GOT MAXWELL DACHS AND AREN MSTISLAV WITH HIM! THEY’RE HELPING EVEN THE ODDS! DACHS AND AREN TAKE OUT ONI AND ADAMS WHILE DEMON GOES AFTER ECLIPSE!

James: DEMON BRINGING THE HEAT TO ECLIPSE! WILD STRIKES LEFT AND RIGHT! ECLIPSE IS STAGGERING! WILD STRIKE FROM ECLIPSE AS DEMON DUCKS UNDER AND GETS DIEMOS LOCKED INTO THE REAR NAKED CHOKE!

Kimb-O: Diemos is fading fast! BUT WAIT ONI AND ADAMS HAVE MANAGED TO TAKE OUT AREN AND DACHS AND BREAK UP THE SUBMISSION ATTEMPT BY DEMON. AND BEGIN TO BEAT DOWN DEMON!

James: No! Not like this! Don’t do this Eclipse!

Kimb-O: THE SANITARIAN MEMBERS DRAG ECLIPSE OVER THE PASSED OUT JASON CAGE AND DARK DEMON! THE REF COUNTS THE COVER!

Referee: ONEEEEEEEEE……TWOOOOOOOOO…….THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

(Dong! Dong! Dong!)

(“Schism” by Tool plays around the arena as the members of The Sanitarium help Eclipse to his feet as his is presented the DCW World Heavyweight Title.)

KKM: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND NEEEEEEEW D C W WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! KING ECLIPSE DIEEEEMOOOOOOOS!!!!!

James: Wow. The landscape in DCW has just changed for the worst. I cannot imagine man being champion. Judging by what he has shown in this match I do not want to think about what he will do to the landscape of DCW!

Kimb-O: THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR JOINING US ON THE SEASON PREMIERE OF DCW! ONLY ON THE EAW NET-

(The lights go out.)

(Kimb-O pauses speaking as the lights go out and the entire crowd gasps. The lights come back on. )

James: OH MY LORD! ITS TLA! HE’S BACK! AND HE HAS CLEARED THE RING AND ITS JUST HIM AND ECLIPSE! THEY GO NOSE TO NOSE!

Kimb-O: AND TLA KNOCKS ECLIPSE TO HIS FEET! AND GETS HIM INTO THE PRONE POSITION! HE’S LOOKING TO BREAK THE ARM OF ECLIPSE! NO TLA DON’T DO THIS!

(TLA grabs the arm of Eclipse and leans back, a loud pop can be heard as Eclipse rives in pain. TLA stares down the camera.)

(DCW and EAW logo buzz and fade to black.)

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