EW TORCHCENTER with Johnny Suave and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
Last night- Siberian Wrestling Champion Andrei Sorokov vs. Olivia Quinn from Siberian Wrestling Battlefront
…Andrei and Olivia lock up in the center of the ring, wasting little time going after one another. Andrei easily over powers Olivia, shoving her backwards into the ropes, causing the fans to pop and Andrei to take a step back…
Tessa’s voice: “Father versus daughter in a match with an unbelievable ending.”
…Olivia scrambles to the microphone that lies on the ground and presses it against her lips. “I QUIT! I QUIT!”…
…Sam X stands above a fallen Sorokov and Quinn. “I’m the greatest mind in this prison! I captivated you all with one of the greatest plans this shit hole has ever seen! For that.. I deserve this belt.. I deserve MY BELT!”…
Tessa’s voice: “All this and more tonight on EW TorchCenter!”
Johnny Suave: “Good evening everyone. I am Johnny Suave along with the former Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin and welcome to tonight’s edition of EW TorchCenter. Several big events took place last night so let’s not waste any time. Andrei Sorokov retained the Siberian Heavyweight Championship last night, defeating his daughter Olivia Quinn in an ‘I Quit’ match.
…Andrei sets the microphone down as the fans boo, rising to his feet and picking his daughter up with him. He lets her sway from side to side as she attempts to stand by herself. He then grabs the back of her head and drives her face into his knee, dazing her even more. Still with a handful of hair, he drops to one knee behind her and slams the bridge of her back against his knee. She lets out a squeal upon impact that shocks Andrei, causing his eyes to widen and his movement to stop…
Suave: “The match itself was brutally short. But when all was said and done, Olivia Quinn lost a match but gained back her long, lost child.
…From behind the curtain emerges Jessica, holding a young girl in her arms. Behind her runs Tyler; the young man that helped find the baby girl. Andrei looks towards the ramp, bringing the three people into view, releasing his grip on Olivia. As Olivia stumbles to her knees from the ground, she catches sight of them as well. The moment the baby is brought into view, Olivia scrambles to the microphone that lies on the ground and presses it against her lips. “I QUIT! I QUIT!”…
Suave: “Then we find out the real person behind all this…Sam X”
…SX: Awww, finally being a real daddy now, am I right? Time fixes everything I assume. Though, it’ll never fix how shitty your daughter is in bed!
[[From behind Andrei, Olivia yells to Sam X.]]
OQ: Like you’d have a chance!
AS: Leave this arena now, X. You are not welcome. You had your time in the light earlier tonight, do not steal what is ours.
SX: Oh cut the bull shit, grandpa. Do you even know WHY I’m out here? Huh?! Do you know why I’m out here? Jesus FUCKING Christ, do I have to do EVERYTHING around here by myself? I get your daughter to turn on you and almost take the belt; which would make it easier for me to take it home with me, and she can’t even do that!…
…Sam X drops to the mat and kicks the knees out from below Andrei. He hits the ground with his leg bent at a terrible angle, causing him to grip it and scream in pain. The fans boo at the assault, while Olivia quickly gives Ivy to Jessica and stands up in front of Sam X. Olivia socks him in the face, bringing a smile to his face. X laughs and grabs the hair of Olivia. She kicks him in the balls, bringing him to his knees. However, he turns around while on the mat, his back facing Olivia. As she goes to spin him around, he sucker punches her with the championship belt in his hand, sending her to the mat with a small splatter of blood. He kneels down beside her with a terrible smirk on his face, stroking her face and laughing. Andrei crawls over, but is unable to stand up, and falls victim to a punt kick to the side of his head from X…
Suave: “So, Sorokov keeps the title but now has Sam X hot on his trail. Tess?
Tessa: “Other results from last night’s Siberian Wrestling Battlefront:
-Sam X defeats Trent Stone in a grudge match
-Dan Filat wins the Voyle Championship, taking two out of three falls from John Q. Everyguy to take the title
-Katelyn Osborne and Stripy over Neil Climer and Alex Rettop
-Clare Voyant defeats Abbey Spears
-Alannah Halliwell wins a three-way match with Xander Gates and Jaiden Vaughn.
Suave: “In Cleveland, NeWA June Tradition show rocked Quicken Loans Arena. Dan Benson met Kid Ego Diesel Warren in the first match of the night….”
…Benson throws Warren off the ropes and clotheslines him, Warren responds using a leg lariat to bring Benson down to the mat it doesn’t help as Benson is the first to recover, he grabs Warren and piledrives him into the mat. Benson waits, stalking Warren and then…
Chris: The Shocker!!! This one is over!…”
Suave: “And it was. Dan Benson gets the pin to take the first match of the night. Match two saw Eric Benjamin take on Steve Justice…
…Justice goes for a shot, Benjamin stuffs it and backs away. Justice back up and Benjamin circling. Benjamin with a leg kick, another, and another. Benjamin goes for a fourth but Justice catches it. Leg sweep, and Justice goes for a knee bar. Benjamin able to escape and as they both get up Justice with a running kneelift…
…Justice finally clearly blocks a knee, hits Benjamin in the side with a stiff punch. Benjamin loosens his grip, Justice ducks under and then Benjamin goes flying, landing on the back of his head and neck…
…Justice back up and he eats another leg kick for his troubles. Justice winces and instantly turns red with anger as he charges Benjamin, takes him to the corner with a spear like drive, and then starts to rip off knife edge chop after knife edge chop. Benjamin gets out of the corner by hitting a leg kick. Justice with another chop, Benjamin with another leg kick….
Finally Justice’s knee buckles slightly and his hand goes down to help his leg. Just as this happens Benjamin sees what happened and hits the Left High Kick straight to the head and Justice goes down. Benjamin covers, and we have a winner…
Suave: “Antonio Romano and Joey Brannan met in match three…”
…Brannon stumbles and gets crotched. Romano climbs back into the ring, goes to the corner. Puts Brannon on his back as he climbs up the corner and sits on the top rope. Romano pulls Brannon down, puts his legs over his arms and hits a middle rope Capiche. The cover and the three count…
…Sidney: Currently in the ring… they are two-thirds of the Unholy Trinity! Weighing in at a combined 540-pounds. One is the Acadian Wrestling Atlantic Champion and XOW Heavyweight Champion, “The One Man Show” Ronnie MCNEIL!!! The other is the current AW “King of Kings” Champion, and one of the SEXIEST MEN ALIVE! He is the “Angel of Hate” and a hellish combination of angelic hotness and demonic goodness, he is JOSHUA BAKER!!!…
Suave: “This was a wild main event.”
…Baker pins Shepherd against the turnbuckles. The referee moves in and asks for a break, which Baker gives cleanly, surprising everyone including Shepherd. Baker smiles an evil smile and gives Shepherd a quick slap to the face, just goading him on. And it strikes a nerve as Shepherd grabs Baker and throws him into the corner. Shepherd slams away with a fury of punches to the Angel of Hate before the referee physically restrains him…
…Ronnie McNeil holds Shepherd wide open and Joshua Baker takes his time, carefully planting a solid punch into his side. Baker grabs hold of Shepherd as McNeil slips to the outside once more. Baker throws Shepherd hard to the turnbuckles and comes running in behind him. Baker connects with a hard splash, crushing Aaron in the corner. But Baker isn’t done. Before Shepherd can recover, Baker pulls him out to the middle of the ring and gives him a boot to the stomach. Doubled over, Baker links his arms around the waist of Shepherd and hoists him to his shoulder before driving him down with a powerbomb…
…Shepherd started to grab McNeil like a suplex was coming, but in the blink of an eye Ronnie countered with his ace crusher.
Steve: The cover…
Referee: One… Two… THREE!!!
***DING! DING! DING!***…
Suave: “In the end…it’s McNeil who’s able to make the counter to an ace crusher for the win.”
RECAP OF THE TOP FIVE E-WRESTLERS OF THE WEEK
Suave: “There is a slight correction in this week’s EW Torch Top 5 Wrestlers of the week. Here’s the updated list:
#5-TIE Johnny Donovan (Hostility) – defeats Steven Steele for the Hostility World Title
#5-TIE Miss USA (HOW) – Why? Why not? The center of a swirling storm of controversy all week long and the inspiration of a barrage of bitter words back and forth between her people and the DWF.
#4 Stephen Greer (DWF) – Defeated Eric Payne for the DWF Title on the 6/14 DWF Aggression show.
#3 Mike Polowy (DWF) – For delivering a textbook Dick Heel promo that left no stone unturned and no person unscathed from the people of Huntington, WVa, the DWF roster in general, and Dazed and Confused.
#2 ‘The All-Star’ Shawn Anderson (WTF)– He didn’t defeat Viking for the WTF title in his match at Xtreme Consequences but he made up for it later by capturing the World Title during the Xtreme Rumble.
#1 Viking (WTF) – Wrestled Anderson to a time limit draw for the WTF title. When the referee refused to restart his match, Viking threw his belt into the mix and ended up winning the Xtreme Rumble outright but left with just one half of a tag team.
Suave: “Johnny Donovan’s title win on last week’s Hostility show not only sent former champion Steven Steele into ‘retirement’ but also earned him a tie for fifth place this week on EW Torch’s Top 5 E-Wrestlers of the Week. Tess?”
DREAM WRESTLING FEDERATION AGGRESSION/MISS USA SAGA
Tessa: “And speaking of Miss USA, all week long the overriding story in DWF that overshadowed everything was the controversy surrounding her impending departure from the DWF. Last night at DWF’s Aggression, the saga came to a close. It was clear from the start just how Miss USA’s night was going to go…”
…The patriotic tune by Bruce Springsteen, “Born in the USA” pipes up from the loud speakers shaking the rafters. The crowd begins to boo.
“The Women’s Champion meeting a reaction she is not used to.”
A well tanned athletic young woman wearing red, white, and blue bursts from behind the curtain carrying Ol’ Glory. She smiles as she attempts to high five several of the fans, but is denied. A frown comes over her face.
“I may be mistaken, but Miss USA looks a little different tonight.”
As she walks by she spots a young girl and pauses for a moment, and goes to hug her as the camera zooms in. The girl pushes her away. USA almost appears as if she is going to cry. She continues her walk and shoves the flag to the time keeper before walking up the steps and entering…
Tessa: “The evening would get progressively get worse. First, an inglorious loss in a three way match with Kelly Evans and Stevie Swing…”
…”Diving Lariat by Evans, hitting Swing hard! She covers Swing.”
The referee drops and counts the three.
“Kelly Evans takes the win in what was undoubtedly a very short match.”…
…Evans quickly gets out fo the ring as Pierce rolls in. He stands above Miss USA, rubbing his hands together and grinning.
“What is Pierce going to do?”
He yanks Miss USA up and places her head between his legs.
“No! Not this! An animalistic snarl over the face of Pierce as he lifts Miss USA up… POWER BOMB!”…
Tessa: “And then the coupe de grace…M-Plow Mike Polowy comes out with a proposition for Miss USA.”
…I’m here tonight to rectify that situation and challenge you to a one on one Women’s Title match, right here tonight!”…
Tessa: “After plastering the photos of Miss USA on the tron, Polowy offers a trade: the Women’s Title for the photos.”
…”Don’t make a decision just yet, darling.” He muses, almost giggling. “Think it over. You have until the end of the show. And sweetheart? Before you go crying too many tears, remember this: You call yourself Miss USA? Well this is capitalism at it’s finest. THIS is the country you glorify and wrestle in the name of. Business. Commerce. Getting ahead by any means necessary. Think hard… I’d hate to see what happens when FOX News gets a hold of these…”
He steps behind the curtain, leaving Miss USA in tears as the show cuts to commercial…
Tessa: “Miss USA takes the deal but is Polowy playing fair? Oh come on, this is one of the top heels in e-wrestling today. Of course , not.”
…”Pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Martin.” Polowy smiles, handing her the envelope containing the photo negatives. “They belong to you now. I don’t know what I’d do with them, but if I were you, I’d start by getting them pulled from the major news casts tonight, and find an attorney. It’s awful difficult to get pictures stripped off of message boards and torrent sites. I may have had a little fun with them while they still belonged to me… they WERE mine, after all. Good day, Miss USA. Best of luck to you.”…
Tessa: “In other action from last night’s 3 hour Aggression:
-Rich Mahogany defeats Havoc
-T-Money wins a three-way match with Antonio Lopez and Buzz Krueger
-Myles Jack defeats Lupin Cy
-Level-One and Mike Polowy defeat Dazed and Confused
-Owen Manton pins S.G. Martins
-Jak Nemesis defeats Pierce
Suave: “Have You Got What It Takes? In previous years The Experts Extreme Tournament has been one of the biggest events in eFedding over the summer, attracting 64 quality roleplayers from many communities last year. This year however, we’re looking to open it up to a maximum of 96 roleplayers with any character, of any skill level, from any eWrestling community. The tournament will begin in early July, and culminate in late August with the final two battling it out for the prestigious True Expert Championship; yes, even non-Experts fed members can claim the title, in this event only. Also this year, unlike previous years, the quarter-finals, semi-finals and final will all adhere to the Extreme Tournament name with a series of hardcore matches, including an Inferno Match, a Barbed Wire Match and a 2 out of 3 Falls Deathmatch. Check out the Experts at their website for more information, Tess?”
Tessa: “The EW Nexus carried a three part interview with David Tyrrell that encompassed his time in DWF, Orlando Pro Wrestling, Shawn FX, and Miss USA. You can see the interviews here:
JOHNNY SUAVE’S ‘HOLY CRAP!’ MOMENT OF THE WEEK:
FWO reAction- Karina Wolfenden vs. Impulse
…Looking out into the popping crowd, the K-Wolf tried to resume control of her instincts, not entirely sure what she’d just done to forcibly eject Knox from the ring. Seeing Knox begin to emerge over the horizon of the apron, hands grabbing the back of his throbbing head, the K-Wolf rose and barged past the referee. Launching herself over the top cable, Wolfenden plummeted down onto Randa—
Just as the K-Wolf’s feet touched down on the mats, Impulse caught her under the chin with as sudden a superkick as has ever been fired. Her puppet strings cut, a limp Karina toppled, landing seated, then spreading out across the mats so that the top third of her body had trickled under the apron…
FWO MATCH OF CHAMPIONS ANNOUNCED
Suave: “FWO World Champion High Flyer, FWO Internet Champion Keith Scott Zimmerman & FWO Cruiserweight Champion Michelle Masters will meet FWO Hardcore Champion Krow & FWO Tag Team Champions Vox Nihili (Alias & K-Wolf) this week, on FWO’s ReAction. The 6-man tag team contest will include every FWO Champion going head to head, in a Lucha Libre style rules match. Tags will not only be made via an ‘official tag’ but also when a member of the team exits the ring.”
POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING EXTREME POLITICAL TV PREVIEW
Tessa: As reported in the EWNexus yesterday, PCW Extreme Political TV will go on brief hiatus until July 15th. PCW Correspondent and Spokesperson Gina Ramsey commented that the break will give the staff and wrestlers a ‘much needed break.’ Ramsey added:..”
“We’ve done 80+ shows in the past nine months since September, 2008 plus constant newslines and other programming. That’s a pretty good work load for a small wrestling federation.”
Tessa: “…PCW also released a press notice to promote Wednesday’s PCW Extreme Political TV. Highlights on the card include: PCW CEO Barack Obama delivering the ‘State of PCW’ Address and a replay of PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama’s title win last November at Extreme Election Night 2008. Plus, on the heels of High Octane Wrestling’s Kirsta Lewis making an appearance last week on PCW, there’s a rumor HOW’s Lee Best, already in a foul mood over being tossed from a helicopter 40 feet through a cage to the ring, found out about Joe Biden’s remarks last week and may confront the aide de camp to Barack Obama Wednesday night.”
Suave: “Tomorrow night, we should have news concerning the latest Hostility, High Octane Wrestling, and Genesis Pro shows. I’m Johnny Suave.
Tessa: “I’m Tessa Martin.
Both: “Good night.