BRAND Homebrand TV #1 Retro Repost

Homebrand TV was a raging success despite the fan attendance. Hurricane Ike seemed to have removed majority of the Texas inhabitants and Lufkin was no different. Having predicted we’d get 500-750 inside the BRAND Big Top seems like it were a

little bit ambitiuos with the Hurricane blowing away a large chunk of our predictions. BRAND wrestling wants to thank all fans who made it out to Lufkin for the debut show and we’re sure you’ll agree… putting your life on the line for the BRAND product was all worth your while. In a public relations note, all fans who braved the elements were given a BRAND wrestling polo shirt which should be hitting stores soon for just $15.99 from size S-XXXL. $3.95 postage and handling fee of course.

Homebrand TV’s debut show was live in front of 120 hardcore Texan wrestling fans who fought the wind to see a Hell of a show. Unfortunately for fans, however, VPG had also evacuated so his three-way dance with Shawn FoX and Joe Bananas was pulled back to a one-on-one tustle. Rumours have it Peppins is upset with the no-show, despite the elements. With VPG being the only performer to not turn up to Lufkin. VPG also missed the recording of Branded Superstars along with Shawn FoX and El Brazo del Cielo. On a personal note, I was disappointed to see these three miss the tapings for Branded Superstars and am even more disappointed there hasn’t been more ramifications toward them. I’d have liked to have seen them dropped from the card to make room for other performers.

Pepper’s tunes hit the airwaves and the 120 faithful rose to their feet. Peppins had the BRAND Name title draped over his shoulder and declared to the fans that tonight was not only a monumental occassion for BRAND wrestling but for Pro-Wrestling in general. Peppins plans to re-mould all that is wrestling and he’ll do that any way he can. He promised tonight a champion would walk out of the BRAND Big Top, come rain, hail or shine. Even hurricanes! Pepper got nice reactions before he was interrupted by Scoot Johnson who made the time to mention his reign as the Spinebuster Wrestling champion. The fans booed as Johnson went on to talk about how history had a way of repeating itself and that tonight was no different because if tonight wasn’t successful he always had his back up plan. Sharc emerged from the back getting some great pops from die-hard “marks” and he had a microphone of his own. He stood in the middle of the ring and applauded Johnson, glad to cheer for him one last time (as Johnson did call for cheers on Branded Superstars last week). He went on to tell the fans that after tonight nobody would have to cheer for Johnson again and maybe the wrestling world would be lucky and never have to hear him speak again. He went on to clarify that predictions on Internet forums of Sharc being victorious were right and that there was a hurricane coming for Johnson. But it’s name wasn’t “Ike”. It was Sharc.

Shawn FoX vs. Joe Bananas
The action started out with Shawn Fox and Joe Bananas, due to card re-shuffle. FoX came out firing, shoving Bananas into the corner and raining on punches. He tried to throw Bananas from pillar-to-post and even tossed him to the outside where Bananas was caught on the guard rail with a sickening bump on his chest. Tables turned when Fox tried a body press from the top rope but Bananas got the 120 hardcores on their feet with a dropkick to the falling FoX. A hurricanrana on exposed dirt (after Bananas rolled it aside) and Joe rolled FoX into the ring. Bananas had control of this for the rest of the match with a release German suplex into the corner left FoX clutching his body in agony. FoX staggered out, fans MARKED out, Bananas hit his patent pending diving enzuiguri for the three-count and the “Dubya”!

Winner: Joe Bananas in 5:37.
Rating: **

Backstage we saw Sandra Dee in an interview with Howard Idol who seemed shocked to see a woman within the walls of a wrestling promotion. He asked Sandra Dee if she knew why her driver’s license was cancelled before advising her there were no roads between HIS kitchen and HIS bedroom. Sandra Dee tried to end the interview there and then before Idol snatched the microphone and went on to tell her that if she thought she was a role-model for young girls of Texas then she should think again. That women should be on their back or cooking him some pie. Poontang Pie! And then he made mention that those sentiments were NOT for Sandra Dee alone. They were for ALL women. And that goes for Mary-Lynn Mayweather. Harry Balkin was heard to be applauding Idol’s public service announcement. HOW RUDE!

Ringo Boulder vs. Wone
The fans were treated to Wone and Ringo Boulder standing toe-to-toe next with the fans getting behind Ringo. They put on one HELL of a show as Wone took advantage early with Wone taking Boulder down with a dropkick and then a senton splash. Tides were turned as Boulder shook Wone’s skeleton inside his skin with a MONSTROUS clothesline. Boulder attempted to take control, tossing Wone into the corner and adminstering a 10-punch that had the 120 faithful counting with delight! The fans were treated as Wone woke up, as though from nowhere and bounded up onto Boulder’s shoulders and twisted him with a HUGE top-rope hurricanrana into the centre of the ring, narrowly missing the three with a shoulder up. Wone took control with a float-over DDT and split Boulders legs apart for a double leg drop to the manhood with a cringe from the fellers in attendance. An attempted swinging neckbreaker was blocked and saw Wone flat on his back and the subject of a kneedrop to the face. Boulder took control with a running pendulum backbreaker and a broken pin-count on two. Wone was tossed at the ropes and subject to a knee to the guts and Boulder attempted his jacknife Boulderbomb but Wone flipped out of it and facejammed Ringo into the canvas with a huge reversal and the 120 on their feet. One Fall from Grace later and Wone’s wrist was held high above his head victoriously.

Winner: Wone in 8:10.
Rating: ***

Backstage saw the resident comic relief Ikan Jobtayoo offering Pepper a cup of coffee made from rare coffee beans. One sip later saw Pete spit the coffee in the FACE of Ikan! Confused our esteemed leader asked Ikan Jobtayoo where the beans came from. Ikan explained he saw a documentary where Brazillians make coffee from the poop of cat-like creatures. Pepper asked Ikan if he actually sifted the beans from the poop or just used poop. Ikan’s face was red and Pepper’s breath was NASTY! Gross.

Fans cheered as before commercial we saw Mary-Lynn Mayweather making her way down the corridors for her match-up with El Brazo del Cielo.

Before our next match we saw a promo for Branded Superstars which is held every alternative week to Homebrand TV hosted by none other than myself, Morton Murphy. It features all the latests promos, interviews and news from BRAND wrestling and is a great product brought to you by BRAND wrestling.

El Brazo del Cielo vs. Mary-Lynn Mayweather
El Brazo del Cielo came out first followed by Mary-Lynn who went straight to business pulling herself over the top rope for a body press on El Brazo. An early pin attempt shoulder out of on one and Mayweather took control right away. A stiff and twisty kick to the calf had El Brazo limping around the ring. Mayweather drove him face first into the canvas with a bulldog. She went up high to fly but El Brazo pulled on the top rope, Mayweather toppled to ringside. The fans roared as El Brazo springboarded out of the ring with a moonsault onto the fallen Mayweather and he kept things outside. Mayweather was tossed into the ringsteps, the guard rail and onto the announce table which Balkin and I preside. He motioned for a DDT into the table but Mayweather pulled his legs out from underneath him and connected with a standing somersault splash that had the whole announce table in splinters. Both competitors clearly hurting from the fall, with Mary-Lynn looking more worse for wear than El Brazo. He groaned as Mary-Lynn climbed into the ring as someone leapt the guardrail and slipped under the bottom rope stalking her. HOWARD IDOL! The fans booed tremendously and Mary-Lynn spun to find herself whipped into the ropes and then GTFO’ed by Idol. A MONSTROUS big boot to the face that knocked Mayweather out cold. The referee called it off, awarding Mayweather the match by DQ as Idol stood over her making rude gestures to his nether regions and shouting “WHERE’S MY PIE?” and “THERE’S NO SINK IN A WRESTLING RING!” Idol was booed out of the BRAND Big Top.

Winner: Mary-Lynn Mayweather by DQ Interference in 6:02.
Rating: **1/2

Gearing up for the main event we saw snippets of Scoot Johnson with his six semi-nekkid members of his all-male entourage and then a flash to Sharc taping his knuckles followed by a commercial.

Main Event for the BRAND Name championship
Scoot Johnson vs. Sharc
The main event came on, right on cue and the fans were on their feet to find out who WOULD become the BRAND wrestling BRAND Name Champion. Sharc attempted to attack Johnson before the bell sounded by sliding beneath the ropes but Johnson escaped to the outsides of the ring. Johnson got to the apron but found himself in the ring after Sharc DDTed him over the top rope. Sharc delivered with a neckbreaker and some stomps but Johnson managed to somehow lock in a testicular claw. A whip to the ropes and a dropkick by the former SbW Champ and then Sharc was tossed into the corner. 10 punch was cut off at seven when Sharc shoved Johnson to the canvass and flew with a dropkick to the spine as Johnson tried to stand. Johnson reversed the torment before both men were laid out with a double clothesline. They traded punches before Johnson took the advantage and a gut wrench suplex saw him in control. Johnson locked in the STRANGLEHOLD BRITANNIA and the fans were on the edges of their seat to see if Johnson could make Sharc tap. Sharc tried for the rope break but Johnson thought better of it and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker had Sharc incapacitated again. Scoot attempted the Johnson driver but ate canvass and humble pie with the help of a Blood in the Water which saw Sharc go on to become the BRAND Name champion.

Winner & first BRAND Name Champion: Sharc in 12:44.
Rating: ***1/2

All in all it was a great first outing for BRAND wrestling and the 120 that did battle through the winds to make it into the BRAND Big Top, which did shake on occasion but seemed very sturdy nonetheless. Impressive wins for Wone, Joe Bananas and Sharc (of course).

Mary-Lynn got the default win but was it worth eating the boot of Howard Idol? Can Mayweather exact some revenge on Idol? Will Idol succeed in teaching her the roles she SHOULD be doing?

Sharc emerges as victorious with the BRAND Name title. Will Scoot Johnson turn his back on Sharc and look at using his contract at a later date? Does this mean war? Does he want that title so bad he’ll get inside the ring with Sharc again? At the next Homebrand TV Sharc will be presented the BRAND Name title by none other than Pepper.

I’d be tuning into Branded Superstars to see what the stars have to say about the events of Homebrand TV. I thought it was one heck of a show and the BRAND rollercoaster has just left the station. Who knows what loops and twists are in store?

Find out more on Branded Superstars! You can catch the replay of the Homebrand TV main event where Sharc emerges with the BRAND Name championship.

Until next time, I’m Morton Murphy and I’ll catch you on the flipside.

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