BRAND Homebrand TV #3 Retro Repost

Well, hot off the heels of a first class Homebrand TV #2 the fans all lumbered into Mesquite, TX, for the third installment of our paladin product of entertainment. 489 people filled the BRAND Big Top, nearly cracking the big 5-0-0. Maybe in Arlington we can slide over that considering the announced card for that looks A-1!

Before the taping began we saw Tom Elijah hitting the ring in a dark match as punishment for him being intoxicated on HBTV2. I don’t normally review dark matches but so much stuff happened on this I just gotta let you good folks who were unable to watch it at home (or aren’t in the area to be able to watch it) get an inside look at what went down.

Tom Elijah v. Ted Stormare
While some folks were still gathering themselves into the arena, fans who got there early got to witness “The Wyoming Wild Man” Tom Elijah in the dark match against local Marshall, Texas standout, the 6’2”, 240-pound Ted Stormare, fresh out of high school and looking to turn heads. It was said that Tom was looking rather POed – moreso than usual – when he came out for his match, rumors swirling around that because of his drunken debauchery during his match with Howard Idol, he was to remain off the actual card. Ted’s attempt at extending a hand for a handshake resulted in Tom merely snorting at the kid.

As the bell rang, Ted fired off a series of elbows to the head of the 6’10” monster, but all they seemed to do was incite The Red Devil even more. Tom shoved Ted in the corner and immediately bombarded him with a succession of knees to the face. Tom stopped just before the ref’s count of five, only to spike Ted with a nasty gutbuster. Tom followed with a headlock and just when we thought he’d use something reminiscent of a wrestling maneuver, Elijah merely drilled the kid with fist after fist to the head. Elijah wasted zero time scowling at the referee. As Tom took his eye off the ball, Stormare fought back with an impressive series of rights and a dropkick, sending Tom to the outside. He tried to attack him with an impressive-looking plancha, but Elijah merely walked off nonchalantly, leaving Ted to crash on the floor. A nasty Giant Swing-esque move into the stairs was the prelude to Stormare’s demise as Tom came back to the ring, lifted Ted up and spiked him with a Gutwrench Bomb he calls the Wild Bomb. A three-count later and Tom immediately left the ring, acknowledging no one in particular. One has to wonder just what kind of punishment may have been doled out for his performance, but Tom didn’t seem especially happy about it.

Elijah had a HUGE chip on his shoulder due to the punishment he received and left a sour taste in the mouth of the fans in Mesquite. But then the show kicked off and it was going to be all guns blazing from there and we were to kick off with what was supposed to Shawn FoX and Idol, yet Idol was substituted at the last minute complaining of shoulder complaints earlier in the week.

But instead of those guys coming out it was Sharc who did and the fans in Mesquite let their affections known for Sharc, attempting to boo him out of the arena. He got on the mike and demanded that Grizzly Valentine come out there right that instant for the main event. The fans fans roared as Pepper and Grizzly came out with Valentine notably arguing with Pepper, suggesting he weren’t ready for the main event right there and then. Sharc waited in the ring with a wicked smile on his face as Grizzly and Pepper got to ringside. Sharc tossed the BRAND Name championship into the centre of the ring and beckoned Grizzly who begrudgingly accepted the invite while they waited for a referee. The fans were roaring, thinking the main event title defense were to happen so soon and just the referee entered the ring Sharc took his ball and went home. Snatching up his belt and exiting the ring leaving Grizzly Valentine arguing with the referee a few moments as the BRAND Name Champ took exit up the ramp like, pardon my expression, a cock teaser. Once on the stage Sharc was handed a microphone where he began to berate the solidarity of laws and Pepper ran BRAND ending on a “Screw you, Pepper. I don’t bow down to dictators like you. Anarchy rules in BRAND, not you.” note and with that he took umberance and vacated the stage area leaving Pepper and Valentine scratching their heads.

Shawn FoX v. Ethan Jake
Finally we got down to some wrestling business with the son of the former Ringside Wrestling champion taking on the ever so strange Shawn FoX who seemed to have the longest entrance in wrestling history. Pepper had told FoX off during the week for taking up so much TV time on Branded Superstars and I guess FoX taking so long to come down to the ring was a little bit of rebellion on FoX’s behalf. But as they tired up the Mesquite natives saw Shawn take control early. Short arm shoulder blocks and a seated standing senton put things into perspective for the young blue chipper. FoX managed to push things into the corner with a huge shoulder thrust that had Jake staggering out of the corner and a bulldog drove his face hard into the canvas. With the fans showing their unappreciation for FoX who played to them, Jake tried to fight back but fighting was futile. FoX drove Jake into the canvas with a scoop slam followed by a legdrop to the face. Whipped him into the ropes and flapjacked him onto the top rope, hanging him out to dry and Jake was desperate for breath. FoX seemed to get a little cocky and played the crowd before a DDT to be shoved into the ropes and on stagger back was superkicked to kick out of a pin attempt on 2. Having commanded the control, Jake showed he had some of his old man’s talent. A suplex powerslam had the Mesquito’s on their feet whilst the kid yanked FoX to his feet and cradle piledrivered his ass into the canvas. Locking on a single leg Boston, Jake had FoX right where he wanted him and as he struggled to reach the bottom rope for a break resistance was futile. Yet it seemed the kid had something to prove and he released the hold to lock on the Retribution which had FoX tapping within moments. Nice debutante victory for Jake kid.

Winner: Ethan Jake
Rating: **1/2

Cameras cut backstage to Jake who seemed excited by getting his first victory. Wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself when he ran into Jake Keeton, the former FATE trainer. He stopped him in the hall and asked what he thought of the match, to which Keeton told him he saw the kid had something if he were able to harness the right kind of mentor and training regime. Ethan asked Keet’ for some advice on wrestling to which Keeton told him he’d be happier giving him his secrets of the trade AFTER they wrestled for the BRAND Mountain Dew Championship at Homebrand 4. Jake muttered going to find Sharc who had experience in title matches as he left Keeton in the halls. Keet’ seemed to be heading where Jake had just came from, the ring area.

Metallica’s “Broken, Beat, and Scarred” played from the sound system and the fans were unsure of how to react until they exploded with cheers at the arrival of highly regarded veteran Jake Keeton who came out to shake hands with some of the fans at ring side and sign autographs. While Keeton didn’t address the crowd or the locker room his arrival is sure to be a major impact on BRAND as “The All-American Nightmare” has been out of action for a long time and looked to be in great shape. The crowd really seemed pleased to see the veteran excited about getting into the competitve frame of wrestling again and BRAND is definitely happy to have him on board.

goldFISH v. Mary-Lynn Mayweather
The odd goldFISH came out for his debut against BRAND’s sweetheart, Mary-Lynn and the fans were happy to see them both. They tied up in the middle where goldFISH took an early advantage with a powerslam and then a falling cross-body over Mayweather who wriggled out from under him. goldFISH hoisted her above his head with a Military press and tossed her awkwardly, where she landed feet first on the top rope and bounded backward with a moonsault that got the Mesquitos up on their feet roaring for her. goldy got to his feet as Mary-Lynn charged with a spinning heel kick, pushing the large FISH into the ropes and once he staggered back into the centre she nailed a dropkick into his chest. He got to his feet again, staggering around attempting to catch his breath when Mary-Lynn jumped on his back and locked him into a sleeper hold. The fans cheered as FISHy attempted to reach her from behind but could not, and she seemed to lock the hold on tighter. goldy simply fell backward with all his weight, landing on Mayweather, which released the hold. He grabbed a handful of hair and airplane spinned in the centre of the ring, releasing the grip and she crunched into the corner turnbuckle. She dazedly got to her feet in time to be smashed with a HUGE corner splash. goldFISH pulled her out and made the cover 1-2… and then he stood up. Looking around and blinking in a state of confusion. He looked a little lost and the referee began to explain to him where he was. By the time goldFISH was back on the right page Mayweather had gotten to her feet and he turned to be the victim of a top rope twisting dual chest palm strike that toppled him over. Mayweather bounded once more high above and performed a top rope flipping guillotine legdrop across the nexk of goldFISH, covered and scored the victory when “Hero” by the Foo Fighters hit the PA.

Winner: Mary-Lynn Mayweather
Rating: **1/3

Howard Idol entered BRAND, holding a microphone and displaying his OWN pie chart about how women are inferior to men. He received quite a bit of flack for this, before Mary-Lynn Mayweather confronted him. Surrounded by three security officers, Mary-Lynn held up a document which she claimed to be a court mandated restraining order. Idol flipped his lid, and became to throw quite a temper tantrum, tossing the easel into the security guards before he was tackled out of his shoes. As the BRAND faithful shouted out “Nah-Nah-Nah Nah.” to the departing Howard Idol, Mary-Lynn Mayweather turned and waved to her adoring public.

Wone vs. Joe Bananas
The match between two of BRAND’s most successful talents got underway right quick when #1 Contender, Wone, and Joe Bananas got into a quick series of grapples and reversals. Wone got blitzed by a series of quick roll-ups from the high-tempo Joe Bananas, catching him with a Small Package, School Boy, and a modified Hurricanrana for near falls. Around that time, Sharc made his appearance at the top of the ramp, BRAND Name Championship over his shoulder, no doubt scouting his rival for Sharcbait.

Wone scoffed Sharc’s attempts to rile him up as he took back control with a Flying Forearm followed by a well-measured Swinging Neckbreaker for two. Firing back with a series of kicks, Wone grounded Bananas before heading up top himself and connecting with a modified Senton Body Block for two. A springboard Cross-Body attempt from Wone was reversed with a nasty Spinning Wheel Kick from Bananas in mid-move. Joe drove Wone across his knee with a Backdrop Backbreaker before connecting with a Springboard Moonsault for two. As Joe attempted the Diving Enzuigiri, Wone managed to whiff the kick just barely, making Joe crash and burn. Wone dominated the next few minutes by slowing down the match, working over the youngster with a series of quick kicks capped off by a debilitating Scissors Kick for the closest fall of the night thus far. As fans continued to cheer on the great match with Wone looking to put away Joe Bananas with the Fall From Grace, fans were shocked to see the gargantuan form of Tom Elijah holding an unmarked bottle (possibly liquor) in the crowd, jeering the competition. As BRAND fans jeered the proclamations, Wone merely shook his head at Elijah’s attempts to rile the crowd, however the referee managed to find himself distracted by the presence of one Tom Elijah. This distraction allowed Sharc to run in and SMACK Wone in the face with the BRAND Name Championship, throwing Joe Bananas over the body of the #1 Contender. The ref turned around just as Sharc left the area, smiling at his handiwork.

Winner: Joe Bananas
Rating: ***1/4

After the match and just as a happy Sharc left the ringside area, Tom Elijah imposed his presence on one of BRAND’s hottest commodities, attacking Joe Bananas and planting him with a Wild Bomb that nearly shook the ring upon impact. With the camera focused solely on him now, Elijah paced the ring like an animal. He delivered a very powerful ultimatum to old Pepper in the back, notifying him and the BRAND locker room at large that he was, indeed, punished for his performance last week by being booked in the preliminary match. The Wyoming Wild Man went so far as to proclaim bias from Pepper, considering Sharc waylayed rookies and received no penalty for it a week prior while he was a little tipsy and got punished. He vowed from that moment forward he would no longer be “overlooked” or “booked as an afterthought” and that if he wasn’t given more opportunities, then he would be thinning out the competition one show at a time until only he and the BRAND Name Championship were left.

Sharc v. Grizzly Valentine
The fans roared their appreciations for the fact they were about to see Sharc’s FIRST title defense here in BRAND with Pepper in Valentine’s corner anything could have happened. The bell sounded and Sharc stalked Valentine in the centre of the ring, circling him like a… er… shark? Valentine tried to attack but Sharc caught him and DDT’ed him into the canvas. Stomped a mudhole on his chest and pulled him to his feet, tossing him into the corner and ramming a vicious elbow into the side of his head. A double underhook backbreaker followed by a three rolling German suplexes and Valentine didn’t know where he was. Pepper scorned ringside seeing the champ make such lightwork of Valentine in the middle of ring. Sharc beckoned Pepper to join them but the owner shook his head and remained ringside, urging Valentine to get up and fight for BRAND. Sharc continued to destroy him with a rope whip and HUGE 180 degree spinebuster slam that would have to leave Valentine with a migraine for weeks to come. Sharc made his way to the corner of the ring where he removed the turnbuckle cover to which Peppins entered the ring to try and stop. The referee was trying to help Pepper convince Sharc to put the turnbuckle cover back on but a struggle ensued which resulted in Sharc shoving Pepper AND the referee. The referee fell out of the ring and Peppins charged at Sharc, nailing a big boot that put the champ on the canvas. Chest straddle and fifty year-old fists in the face, Peppins was getting the better of the BRAND Name champion, or so he thought. Pepper stood up in the centre of the ring, wiping his brow and then helping Valentine to his feet. When Pepper turned around Sharc was waiting for him and Sharc drove a dropkick into the owner’s chest, flattening him. Then CATAPULT! Face first into the CORNER! BLOOD! BLOOD! PEPPER’S BLOOD! Pepper’s forehead hit the turnbuckle HARD and he immediately began to bleed which did NOT look like it was supposed to happen. Staggering around the ring, blinded and attempting to peer through his lovely new red mask, Peppins walked straight into a BLOOD IN THE WATER! The fans were booing hysterically as Valentine attempted to save Pepper and got one for HIS troubles. The referee entered the ring and saw Sharc covering Valentine and counted the three.

Winner: Sharc
Rating: ***4/5

Sharc huffed and puffed in the centre of the ring as the referee handed him his championship belt. Sharc’s eyes lit up as though he had the idea of a life-time and he straddled the chest of Pepper Pete Peppins and ran a finger across his bloody face, smearing a two long lines of blood in the form of an “X” across the face of the belt before climbing the turnbuckle and holding the belt high for all to see as BRAND’s Homebrand TV went off the air.

A fantastic show as storylines continue to progress strongly in BRAND. Sharc and Pepper seem to be starting a war, with Pepper being busted open we’ll get some issues with the network surely. That is breaking one of the codes of conduct and we’ve already been getting some flack for some of the content on the shows, namely Idol’s ridiculing of women from Christian groups in Texas. But Peppins wants his Championship to be represented with honour and vigour and Sharc seems to only have that toward himself and not for BRAND.

Sharc is also heating up his battle with Wone as week-by-week he tries to get inside his head, making sure he has the advantage coming into Sharcbait where he will defend his title for the second time against the number one contender.

Rumours of Joe Bananas leaving BRAND are true and he is coming in on a week-by-week basis at the moment, not making himself available for all tapings but he has decided to part ways with BRAND but is honouring commitments made up until Sharcbait at this stage. As to whether we see Joe on all of these shows is a matter of fact and you will find out as the shows come to pass.

Howard Idol’s shoulder complications will leave him out of some tapings and talks of his contract, which was an open verbal agreement between he and Pepper, are rising with Idol looking to go to higher grounds seeing BRAND as not big enough for someone of his potential. As to whether we see him on future programming or not I cannot state at this stage but Mayweather seems to have gotten the upper hand over the sexist with her restraining order over him as the battle between man and woman ensues.

Tom Elijah had points to prove this week and has laid down the law to Pepper, who seems to be ruffling feathers left, right and centre trying to keep BRAND in the good books with networks and fans. Elijah wants Pepper to know where he stands in all of this and made a point on Homebrand TV, should be interesting to see what Elijah does next week with being inserted into the main event!

Well, another Homebrand TV in the books and BRAND is definitely going from strength to strength and although I’m a worker for BRAND I’m also a fan and as each show progresses I become more engulfed in the product BRAND has to offer so be sure to check out Branded Superstars this week and Homebrand TV 4.

Apologies for the lateness of the blog this week, had family commitments (wedding anniversary) and let me tell you Mrs. Morton had the night of her life. Many thanks to the local Indian restaurant in Mesquite, Dinesh’s Palace, and I recommend that to anyone who happens to be passing through town there.

But until next time, I’m Morton Murphy and I’ll catch YOU on the Flipside.

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