Tonight, the monthly Federation Power Ratings will be released.  Who will stand on top after two full months of action.  Empire Pro Wrestling led the way after January with All-Star Championship Wrestling nipping on their heels.  Will ACW pass EPW?  Other feds who could be in the mix: New Era (CWC, F-Wrestling), High Impact Wrestling (Experts), Viking Wrestling Federation (Experts), and Universal Wrestling Federation.

TFWF Signs Level One and Latrisha

Huge signings by Totally Fictional Wrestling Federation as they pick up not one but two big stars in Level One and Latrisha.

Level One has been a fixture in the singles Top 5 and was last year’s WWR wrestler of the year.  It appears  he will continue on at Action Packed Wrestling where he has held the title now for several months.

Latrisha comes to TFWF by way of Phoenix Wrestling Revolution.  At one time, she was one half of a very successful tag team with Hawk Henshaw until the team split up sometime in the Fall last year.

Hawk Henshaw win PWR Title

And speaking of Henshaw, he had quite a night at the recent Phoenix Wrestling Revolution Supershow IV.  Two wins, one of them a PWR Title win over William, and Henshaw rebounds back onto the Top 30 at #17.

Dream Wrestling: Bishop Steele Wins Television Title

In action last night, #21 Muru fell to Bishop Steele giving Steele the Dream Television Title.

Steele, who’s bounced around a few feds, also has a tryout match next week with High Octane Wrestling.  Steele wrestled at HOW last year before leaving on not so happy terms.

The Mike Polowy era as General Manager of Slaughter has started off on the right foot after two shows.  Next week, former champions The Egg Bandits get a shot at regaining their tag team titles from #4 Tag Team in the World, The Grady Bunch.

High Octane Wrestling: Best not happy

Owner Lee Best was not happy when the WWR Rankings were released that no HOW wrestler made the list.

HOW’s highest rated wrestler, the enigmatic Max Kael (#42) has a chance to bullrush his way back into the top 30 this weekend against LSD Champion Chris Kostoff.  Kostoff riding high after defeating Dawn McGill last week for the LSD title, will not be an easy win for Kael.

Upcoming Matches:

#2 Tag Team and PCW Tag Team champions ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott of PCW meet the former Tag Team champions Jack and Bull Schett this Sunday night at PCW/MVW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction PPV.

ACW’s For Queen and Country will feature two wrestlers in the top five- Alias (c) and Shawn Jessica Hart.  This will be Alias’s toughest test yet.  Hart has won everywhere he’s gone and with Karina Wolfenden declining to sign an ACW contract, Alias has no back up in place.

The “Not” Keith SCHMUCKS Retro Rant for Elite Wrestling Isolation’s OutRage 2001!

Okay, let’s continue with the parade of Pay-Per-Views, as the recommendations are starting to pile up! This one is from the Elite Wrestling Isolation, which began earlier this year. Their “Visionquest” PPV was a great first effort, with solid, well-booked matches. Can they continue this trend? Let’s find out as we experience EWI’s “OutRage”!

-We are live from Madison Square Gardens! (I hope no-one’s in my favourite seat!) The opening titles show a video package leading up to the Scotty Phillips/Mr Sandman Main Event.

-Commisioner Foxx arrives to plug the matches and pep up the crowd. President Palcis arrives to draw some heat.

-Your commetators are Chris Alexander and Matt Roth. They plug the matches. OutRage is the EWI’s equivalent to WCW’s “Uncensored” (Now, there’s a scary thought) in having all gimmick and hardcore matches. The opener is a Dome of Hell match to determine the #1 contender for the Hardocre title. The Hardcore champ Brian Edison is guest referee.

Dome of Hell Match: Johhny Sinclair vs. Don “The King” Chambers vs. David Laursen vs. Tyrone Street

The rules stipulate that one man must climb a barb-wire wrapped ladder out of the Dome to win. Sinclair and Laursen pair off on one side of the ring, Street and Chambers on the other. Tyrone chops away at Chambers as Laursen hits a lying back elbow on Sinclair. Waist-lock is reversed, and Laursen gets dumped to the floor. He hides a garbage can lid, and whops Sinclair from the apron with it. Sinclair is suplexed over the top. Street is dumped out at the same time. Chambers jumps Laursen from behind, hitting with a move I’ve never seen before. Sinclair hits a full-nelson slam on Chambers and breaks a 2-by-4 over his back. He gouges Chambers with it, for our first bladejob of the night. (Admittedly, a minor one, maybe a .001 Muta.) Laursen steals the 2×4 and uses it on Sinclair. Sinclair takes a whip into the wire-wrapped cage. Street tosses Laursen into the ring , as well as an assortment of garbage. He also slides in the ladder. He brawls with Laursen, hitting a double-handed chokebomb. He attempts to whip him into the ladder, but Cruel Irony intervenes as Laursen drop-toeholds him onto the bottom rung. Street shows Chmapbers how a man blades. Laursen begins to climb, so Sinclair rolls in and chairshots him. Sinclair sets up the chair as Chambers rolls in. Sinclair takes a cringe-inducing back suplex, smacking the back of his head on the open chair en route. Street and Chambers brawl. Street wins the slugfest and sets up a table. He sets up Laursen for a powerbomb, but Laursen lowblows him and hits a rockerdropper. Chambers and Sinclair rise at this stage. Chambers crotches Sinclair with a broomstick, then snaps it over his back. He German suplexes Laursen as Street begins to climb. Chambers stops him mid-way and a temporary alliance is formed. Laursen becomes the recipient of a Street powerbomb through the table. Sinclair pops up and recieves a spinebuster from Street, landing on that darn chair again. Chambers dissolves the alliance by by slapping the Kings Crossface on Street. Sinclair breaks it up and scampers up the ladder. Chambers pushes it over, dumping Sinclair. He heads up himself, grabbing the wire and bleeding hardway from the hand in the process. Laursen drags him down. They roll out and exchange international object shots. They both no-sell the shots, then hit each other at the same time for a double Flair Flop. Cute spot. Street has set up a table on the floor. He brawls with Sinclair, getting leveled in the process. Sinclair then tries to escape the Dome, with Street in hot pursuit. As they reach the top, Chambers up-ends the ladder, sending both over the top into the woodwork. Chmabers climbs to the top of the dome, but get hung up on the wire. Laursen catches him at the top. They brawl, with Laursen hitting the Hell Raiser on Chambers. Street climbs up to the ladder. At the top, he spikes himself and accidently knocks the ladder over. He hangs on gamely, until Laursen kicks him off. Street takes a wicked bump to the mat as Laursen climbs down for the win. Edison congratualtes him.

**3/4 Good opener, nicely paced. Had the potential to be an overblown mess if handled badly.

-Backstage, Jake Navaja talks with Mallory Toliver. He’s going to be keeping a close eye on the light-heavyweight match, it seems.

Fyre vs. Slogan (Cage Match)

After two draws in sucession, this is the blow-off match for these two. Slogan goes after Fyre straight away, pummeling and tossing him. Fyre sets up a table, so Slogan creeps up on him. He rams Fyres head on the table and the ringpost. Fyre fights back, jachammering Slogan through the table. Pin attempt gets 2. Back inside, a second table is set up against the corner. Slogan is whipped through the table, and takes 8 on the buckle. Blind charge misses, Fyre shoulders the post. Slogan blows a powerbomb and works the leg. He heads up, but is low-blowed and superplexed for 2. Fyre crotches Slogan on the top rope and clotheslines him to the floor. Whip to the steps is reversed. Slogan whips Fyre into the cage door, which is not locked. Fyre ends up outside the cage. They brawl on the outside, with slogan taking a bulldog into the cage wall. Fyre climbs the outside of the cell. Sloagan follows him to the roof. They fight on the roof. Back suplex from Fyre. Slogan’s DDT is blocked, and Fyre hits a Northern Lights on him. Powerbomb on the mesh. Slogan rolls off a section of the cage just before it gives way. Fyre drags Slogan to the resultant hole. Slogan does the superman comeback, hitting a Detroit Flip. Fyre takes a man-sized bump to the mat. The three-count is a formality.

*3/4 Not bad, but too similar to a few other high-profile Cell matches I could name.

Dust To Dawn (Black Dawn and Sunset Kid)vs. The Hangmen (Big Ben and Bambu Khadafi) (Tag Team Championship)

Pier-sixer right from the opening bell as all four men fight to the floor. Bodies and fans go flying as they brawl into the stands. Why do I smell a balcony jump coming up? Sunset Kid is the first to throw a chairshot, and nearly demolishes the first row of chairs with a lawsuit-inducing flying clothesline. Black Dawn gets a DDT through the announcers table. The action quickly spills backstage. Typical hradcore brawling results as they play among the garbage cans. Sunset Kid hits a Diamond Cutter on Khadafi. Khadafi sells this for about ten seconds before hitting a reverse DDT on Dawn. The Hangmen put Black Dawn through a table with “The Hanging” (A double DVD) to retain.

DUD Ugly, ugly brawl. at least it was short. Even the commentators had nothing to say about it.

-Backstage, Brian Edison asks Bad Brad Shaw and Don Chambers to join the Extreme Icons. They accept.

Kamikazi vs Justin Rivera (No DQ Light-Heavyweight Title match)

Rivera comes in to this one as champion. They brawl off the bell into the leapfrog sequence, with Rivera dropping for a monkey-flip. Kamikazi cleverly turns it into a wheel-barrow drop instead. Springboard elbow-drop follows, but Kamkiazi hits the boot on a blind charge. Rivera heads up for a dazzling corkscrew plancha. Kamkizi ducks a spinning heel kick and nails a vicious enziguri. Two snap legdrops from Kamikazi. He attempts a flapjack, but Rivera somehow pulls out a drop-kick instead. Wow! Rivera demonstartes a few armdrags, then backdrops Kamikazi to the floor. Somersault tope scores. The crowd is hotter than hell for this one. Kamikzi lays in some chops as they rise and hits a spinning back kick. Springboard asai moonsault gets 2 on the floor. (I’m assuming it’s also falls count anywhere…) Another back kick sends Rivera into the fans. Kamikazi hits a drop-kick off the railing as they head into the stands. They walk and brawl briefly, before Rivera hits a frankensteiner on the floor and chairshots Kamikazi. Piledriver on the concrete. Rivera drapes the chair over Kamikazis’ face and proceeds to hit a suicidal legdrop from the next level of seating! No cover, and they hit the concession stand. Rivera smashes a beer bottle over Kamikazis’ head. He blades. Rivera drags him to a VIP balcony. Jake Navaja arrives to attack both men, before tossing Rivera off the balcony. He takes the Shane McMahon stunt-fall to the (hopefully, well-padded) stage. To add to the “Holy Shit” factor, Kamikazi lives up to his name with a 810 (! Yes, 2 1/2 revolutions… I checked in slow-mo) splash for the 3-count.

***3/4 The match could have been just as good without the huge, risky bump, but you have to give the fans what they want, I suppose.

Vanity ShowWood vs Ryan Billups (Inferno Cage Match)

A flaming cage? Oooo-kay… I’d love to have heard the conversation between the promoters and the local fire saftey representatives. Also, HHH’s lawyers will be wanting a word with ShowWood for stealing his music, I think. He charges into a drop toe-hold and we go to a headlock sequnce. Nice old-school spot as ShowWood hits a back suplex, but Billups maintains the headlock. ShowWood blocks a DDT and backdrops Billups to the floor. Clothesline off the apron. Billups blocks a whip to the cage but gets eyegouged. He meets the steps. ShowWood beats on him and they tease some whips to the cage, before the action retuns to the ring. Vanity goes up and gets crotched on the top. He blocks a supexplex and shoves Billups down before hiting a kind of half-assed spear off the top. Billups reverses a whip and hits the Orange Goblin boot and leg-drop. He whips ShowWood to the turnbuckle and charges. Vanity pulls the ref in to block. Billups, ever the nice guy, puts on the brakes, allowing Vanity to blindside him. Cradle piledriver and we’re back to the floor. He tries to ram Billups into the cage, but it’s blocked. Billups tries a powerbomb, Vanity lands on his feet. Standing drop-kick knocks ShowWood back, and he accidently sets his boot on fire trying to avoid hitting the cage.

*1/3 Odd gimmick match with an anti-climatic ending. Hey, I think I just described every Inferno match to date!

-Backstage, Brian Edison inivties Mr Sandman to join the Extreme Icons. Sandman declines politely.

“The Nemesis” Kaven Crowe vs. YJKeady

If anyone knows how to pronounce “YJKeady”, please drop me a line. (Y. J. Keady? Yij-ee-dee?) Crowe hits a quick suplez and an even quicker chinlock to bore the crowd. Bodyslam, Keady rolls hi m up for 1. Neckbreaker and elbow drop from the middle buckle for 2 for Crowe. He jaws with the ref. Keady blindsides him. Legdrop, splash and reverse senton, no cover. Powerslam from Crowe and he attempts a military press. Keady slides into the Keady Killer for the pinfall.

DUD Over in the blink of an eye. Am I the only one thinking “Time-filler”?

Vincent Harley vs. A Mstery Opponent (Match takes place in Central Park)

We’ll be lucky if the participants don’t get mugged in this one. Harley thinks he finds he opponent, but it’s a hooker. He pretends to be gay to escape. Stop, my sides are killing me. Brio, the real opponent appears. The Co-commisioner tries to buy him off. (With $60 or so. Cheap prick. No deal, of course.) Brio beats on Harley, suplexing him on the grass. A cop appears and pulls a gun on them. (He also comes armed with a donut… it’s lucky he didn’t have a speaking part, or he would have had an Irish accent to complete the stereotype.) The comedy continues as Harley is powerbombed into a fountain. My prediction comes true as a mugger arrives to steal Harleys wallet. (Where’s the cop when you REALLY need him?) Harleys head is put through a car window. The mugger steals the car. (I guess the schmuck locked his keys in the car…) Pedigree gets the 3-count for Brio.

Lets be kind and move on without rating that one, shall we?

Brian Edison (w/Vanessa) vs. Maverick (No DQ Hardcore Title Match)

Maverick hits lowblow #1 5 seconds in. Clothesline gets 2. Maverick heads out for a wooden board and whacks Edison. Edison is either packing mace, or spay-on anti-perspirant, but Maverick knocks it away before he can use it. Stungun and chairshot off the buckle gets 2. Piledriver on the chair gets 2 more. Maverick tosses Edison and they brawl. Edison blades off a ringpost shot. Edison finally gets in some offense by smashing a water jug over Mavericks head. Maverick blades. (About .3 of a Muta) Edison tries to post him, Maverick reverses it. He gets 2. He sets up a table. Irony, that cruel mistress that she is, intervenes, as Edison suplexes him through it. He drops an elbow off the apron. Piledriver on the Collapsable Announcers table gets 2. A cut backstage shows Tyrone Street nailing David Laursen with a barbed-wire wrapped ball bat. At ringside, Edison and Maverick brawl. Street strolls in and nails Edison. Edison takes a spiked powerbomb through a table. They roll him in, Maverick applies the ringpost figure-four. Vanessa tries to intervene as Street pulls out a utility knife. She gets shoved aside, Samasta jumps from the crowd. He wipes out Street with an Accent Slam, then does the same to Maverick. Edison pins to retain.

* Your basic brawl.

Vandal vs. Stephen Adams (Fought in a N.Y State Prison)

We cut to Adams wandering around the prison. He finds an electric chair, (Does NY have the death penalty? And who uses the electric chair these days? Okay, just asking, no biggie.) before Vandal jumps him. I’ll make this one quick. Brawl, brawl, walk, use pipe, brawl, walk, use fork, brawl, walk, use night stick, choke, brawl, walk, use handcuffs, deliver police-style brutality to handcuffed man, set-up gimmicky finish by having mace and a pistol lying around, Adams pins for the title.

3/4* It’s all becoming a bit monotonous now.

Main Event (Barbed Wire Rope Elite Title Match) Scotty Phillips vs. Mr Sandman

Stare-down and slug-fest with Phillips getting the advantage early. Sandman avoids a whip into the wire, but gets a HEAD PUNCH OF DOOM to send him down. Phillips slides out to retrieve gloves (Thinking ahead, I see) and more wire. Sandman is ready for him by the time he’s back in. He blades Phillips back on camera, then wraps himself in wire. Draping the rest on Scotty, he hits a top-rope splash. Major juicing results. Scotty lowblows Sandman with the wire (Ouch!) and we get a lovely close-up of Sandmans’(now-bloody) crotch. This is getting grusome fast. Phillips brings in a ladder, table and chair. Big sabu-spot as he hits a leg-drop off the ladder onto a wire, chair and Sandman head sandwich. 0.7 Muta and rising. To the outside, Sandman takes a powerbomb onto the wire-wrapped chair. Scotty heads back in to wrap the table in wire. He climbs the ladder, Sandman knocks it over. Phillips goes through the table. A whip to the wire is reversed into a DVD by Phillips. The Corporate Hitmen run-in as Phillips and Sandman form a 2-second alliance. Then Phillips hits Sandman with a chair. The Hitmen beat Phillips down for his idiocy, with Kamikazi hitting a Kami-drop. They leave, Sandman hits the Sandman Drop to retain.

* Spotty as hell, and a dud ending to boot. Plus, you need a really strong stomach to handle all the juice that gets spilt.

The Bottom Line: An all-gimmick and hardcore match card is risky at best. Some very good matches, but just become a brawl-and-blood-fest in the long run. Still a lot better than many “Hardcore” PPV’s I could name.

-Thumbs in the middle

I alone hit the 3rd video in our Retro-Fest, as Xenomorph had dozed off in the time it took to rewind the last one. This time if was the first PPV from the oddly-named Elite Wresling Isolation(?), “Visionquest”.

-We are live from The MGM Grand Arena, in Lost Wages, Nevada.

-A restrained video package and some good pyro kick things off. The EWI President, John Palcis cuts a great heel promo (only losing it a little at the end) in which he endorses Cyrus Storm in the Elite Championship match. Hot crowd.

-Your announce team is Dowler, Alexander and Roth. They run down the matches on offer and gives some much-needed insight into what brought each contest about. Alexanders explanation of Darryl “Balls” Pattersons’ nickname is a highlight.

-Backstage, the president signs a new wrestler… possibly.

Opening bout: Vixen vs. Vanity ShowWood (Intergender Tables, Ladders, Chairs and Garbage Cans match for the EWI International Title)

A TLCGC match? Vanity proves his manhood (and cements his heel status) by backjumping Vixen with a garbage can in the aisle. After flattening one, he delivers a stiff face-first suplex onto a second. Diamond cutter on the outside, and he GOES FOR THE LADDER! Vixen takes it across the back, but ducks a second, dropkicking the ladder back into Vanitys face. Vixxen places a chair over his face, then delivers a senton off the apron! Vixen takes a table into the ring, bringing Vanity in as well. Splash in the corner, then an eye-watering Shattered Dreams makes every man in the crowd cringe in sympathy. Vixen places the incapacitated ShowWood on a table and climbs the ladder, chair in hand. Attempted chair-assisted legdrop, but ShowWood rolls away and Vixen takes out the table. Vanity gets a run-up for a nasty-looking shot with a garbage can. Some brawling, and Vanity goes up the ladder. Within reach of the belt, Vixen upends the ladder. Vanity takes a Man-sized bump, landing stomach first on the top rope. Vixen adds injury to injury with a wild bulldog over the ropes to the floor. She returns and tries for the belt, but Showood recovers enough to climb the ladder as well. They meet at the top, where Vanity takes a sick bump off a fall-away slam! ShowWood is able to climb up unopposed for the title.

**** Hot, hot opening, with very little resting. Great start to the PPV.

-Foxx, the contract-signer from the first segment makes an in-ring appearance. He’s retired from wrestling after being run-down by a limo the week before. (Now THAT’s Hardcore) However, he’s signed as the EWI’s new commisioner. He’s siding with the Boss, though. Instant heel turn for Foxx. The announcers argue briefly about the benefits of selling out to the President.

Crimson X vs. Big Ben

Crimson X gets a Jericho-like entrance. Big Ben gets a meagre video. Brawlfest to start, X gets the advantage, dragon screw legwhip regains for Ben. More reversals, superplex gets 2 for Ben. Irish whip reversed and we have a ref bump. X goes for a chair but a Van Beninator (That sounds wrong, but anyway) takes him down. Ben revives the ref and slaps on the Endgame for a quick submission.

* Pointless filler match.

Darryl “Balls” Patterson vs Syberyan Tyger

Balls charges The Tyger as soon as the bell rings. Leapfrog, and Balls butts the buckle. (Smooth move) Dropkick to the back and standing senton get 2. Patterson reverses a whip, but is dropped with a spinning heel kick. Tyger is setting a frantic pace. Standing leg lariat, lariat and springboard Vader Bomb gets 2. Tyger sends him to the buckle and a nice somersault off the chest of Balls and a dropkick sends him to the floor. Tyger goes for a tope suicida. Balls sidesteps and Tyger impacts heavily with the guardrail in the first sick bump of the match! Patterson sends him to the steps as the crowd chants “We want balls”… I refuse to comment on the implications of that chant. Balls brings it inside and lays in some stiff chops. Powerslam, followed by a hanging brainbuster. It gets 2. Attempted dragon suplex is reversed into a back suplex. Good back-and-forth action in this one. Tyger ducks a clothesline, facecrusher for 2. Tyger goes Sabu-istic, dropping a springboard somersault legdrop, before springboarding over the ropes on momentum alone. He attempts a springboard Tornado DDT, but is caught in mid-air by Balls. (Not HIS Balls, you understand. That would be icky.) Blind charge misses, slingshot bulldog nails Balls. Balls gets the kness up to block a top-rope splash, and finishes with his “Ball Monty” DVD.

*** A spot-fest where they hit the spots. Not too ECW-ish, and well-paced to boot.

-Backstage: Brian Edison leaves Cyrus Storms’ locker with a sledgehammer. Okay.

Kamikazi vs. Scott Phillips (Dumpster Match)

Phillips gets the babyface entrance and Booker T-like pyro. Martial arts display to start, Phillips gets the advantage with the Greco-Roman Punch To The Head. Kung-Fu Crotchshot turns the tide for Kamikazi, followed by a Steamboat throat chop. Gotta love the classics. He plays to the crowd, Phillips forearms him. To the outside, Kamikazi hits a dropkick, then heads inside for a spectacular-looking corkscrew plancha. The crowd loves it. Kamikazi screams Japanese obscenities at them. Phillips no-sells two chairshots to the cranium and hits an Van Phillipinator! (That sounded even worse…) He tries to toss Kamikazi into the dumpster, but Kamikazi escapes and delivers some JAPANESE VIOLENCE! Blind charge and Phillips hits a powerslam on the steel stage. Ouch. He heads backstage for a cookie sheet and waffles Kamikazi, who blades. Kick, wham , stunn.. sorry, kick, wham, Powerbomb from the stage into the dumpster. Phillips tries to close it but Kamikazi pops up to block. He climbs out, bringing a garbage can lid into the fray. He blasts Phillips, then hits the Impaler on the floor. Ryan Billups runs-out and blindsides Kamikazi, tossing him in and slamming the dumpsters lid. Phillips gets the win.

*** Good, solid garbage wrestling.

-Postmatch, Phillips and Billups deliver the dumpster to President Palcis’ office. Alexander makes sushi jokes. As the Beds of nails are set up for the following match, the announcers hype the main event.

Josh Savian vs. Brian “King of Extreme” Edison (Bed of nails Match)

Savian makes the Edge-Entrance from the crowd. Fast start and Plenty-’O-Brawling. Ballshot and boots from Savian. He misses a moonsault, so Edison punishes him with two suplexes, rolling from the first into a face-first second. Savian blocks a throw to the bed of nails on the outside. He tries a Frankensteiner but Edison holds on for a powerbomb attempt. Savian completes the hurricanrana anyway, sending both men to the floor. Savian uses a chair, and tries a moonsault off the steps with the chair laying over Edisons noggin. Edison is quick enough to rise and hit a chairshot while Savian is in mid-air. “Holy Shit” chants abound for that one. Back to the ring, Edison brings in the garbage. He hits his “Power Trip” on a chair, then takes Savian to the top. He signals for his signature move, but Savian goes South of the Border and hits a huge top-rope Tornado DDT onto the chair. The crowd is super-hot at this point. Spinning elbow-drop from the top and they’re going ballistic. Savian sets a table up over the bed of nails, and hits a german suplex on Edison. Taking him to the apron, he tries for “The End” but can’t lift Edison. Edison picks up the smaller man and hits his “Q-Spike” through the table to the nails for the win. It was never announced as such, but he either wins, or defends, the hardcore title in the process.

*** Another solid bout. Savian/Kamikazi would probably go through the roof.

The Vandal vs. Ryan Billups (North American Title match)

Billups and the Vandal won the right to challenge for this new belt in a battle royal the previous day. Roth predicts bad karma for Billups. Brief stalling, before Billups hits a sweet suplex. He celebrates this feat and gets the Mr Perfect-like punishment as The Vandal dumps him over the top.A-brawling we will go. Billup is whipped hard into the Easily Seperatable Ringsteps(TM). Back to the ring, Billups attempts a “Flashbulb”, but Vadal ducks. Double KO clothesline follows. A brief rest period, before both men return to their vertical base. Billups stomps a mudhole or two, but makes the mistake of celebrating before walking it dry. Good German suplex sequence as it’s teased and reversed multiple times. Vandal hits it eventually and goes to the top. Billups recovers to knock him onto the turnbuckle and attempts a superplex, reversed into a face-first suplex. He pins for 2. Vandal hits a signature move, the Vandal Drive, then sets up for another, the Vandal Drop. Billups turns it into an inverted DDT. Kamikazi runs out, but is prevented from entering by the referee. Billups hits the Stone Driver and covers. Kamikazi pulls him off at two. The ref and Kamikazi get into an animated English-to-Japanese argument,(Think Kaientai on speed) and Billups gets involved too. This allows Vandal to hit The Overdose for 3 and the first-ever EWI North American title.

***1/2 Great back-and-forth action, a logical run-in and once again I have nothing to make sarcastic comments about. I even contemplate waking up Xenomorph, but hey, his loss.

-Pyro and big video package to set up the main event.

-Prez Palcis arrives to declare himself guest timekeeper. Smell the screwjob!

Main Event: Cyrus (Not Lance) Storm vs. Mr (Not “The”) Sandman (World Title Match)

Major heel heat for Cyrus here. Mr Sandman comes out to you-know-what by you-know-who. Storm tries to jump Sandman early, but walks into a huge bootand bails. Back in and a dropkick to the knee gets the advantage for Storm. He works the knee and attepts a figure-four, blocked by Sandman. Sandman tries to take over by gets a ballshot. Texas cloverleaf from Storm. Sandman fights it, reaching the ropes. Storm keeps the hold on as long as possible, while the ref yells at him. Cyrus continues the pyschology by attacking the legs, wrapping them around the post for an attempted Brett Hart-like figure-four from the outside. Sandman kicks him off, and crawls for a chair. He takes a big swing, the Crushing Hand of Irony interjects, and Sandmans face bounces off his own chair. Cyrus returns to the leg with another Texas Cloverleaf. Once more Sandman makes the ropes. Storm breaks clean this time, and allows Sandman to stand up. Sandman pays back this courtesy by kneeing Storm in the nuts. Swinging neckbreaker and we head back outside. Sandman continues his heel-like tatics by choking out Storm with a mircophone cable. Back inside, for about twenty seconds before Storm takes a MAN-SIZED backdrop over the top. Brawling on the outside commences. Storm posts Sandman.Back inside, powerbomb and heelishly arrogant cover gets 2. Storm goes for the Storm Driver, but the Sandman squirms out. Two standing side kicks and a dominator and Sandman is a HOUSE ON FIRE! Piledriver gets 2. Another piledriver for 2 again.He whips Storm to the ropes, and is met with a ferocious spear. Storm scores with a top rope knee-drop. High knee makes it officially Knees-a-Palooza ‘01. He lifts Sandman into position for the Perfect Storm (Like you didn’t see THAT name coming?) but Sandman wriggles out and sunset flips for 2. Ballshot#2 and a cruicifix powerbomb gets 2.5 for Storm! He tries a second, only to recieve a neckbreaker. Sandman sets up a huge powerbomb of the top for 2.99999! (Sorry, I’m getting kind of APJW on you!) Reversal again and Storm goes for a tornado DDT. Sandman blocks and deposits Storm back on th turnbuckle. He tries powerbomb #2. Storm turns it into a DDT from the top rope. For 2.999999! Ho-ly shit! Storm loses his rag and kicks away at Sandman, who dragon screws him, then rolls through and does it again. Sandman goes up for a triple jump moonsault variation. Storm pulls the ref into the path of the Sandman and it’s nighty-night to the man in the striped shirt! Kaikazi runs out again as Sandman hits the Sandman drop. No ref to count, so Kamikazi hits the Kamikazi Drop on Sandman. (Lots of Drops and Drivers in this federation… coincidence?) Commisioner Foxx and Brian Edison (w/sledgehammer) stroll out to the ring.The fans are going nuts as it looks like a little 4-on-1 is going down. But, no, it’s a SWERVE! (Not a predictable one, which is refreshing.) Storm eats a sledge upside his head, as does Kamikazi. Sandman shakes hands with Edison and Foxx (Who went face-heel-face in just under 2 hours), and hits Storm with another Sandman drop. The ref wakes.. 1, 2, 3 and the EWI has a new Elite Champion!

***** Pyschology, big spots, and a frenetic pace make this a true main event match. Huge props to the EWI right here!

-Postmatch: President Palcis fires Cyrus Storm. Kamikazi completes Storms’ lousy night with a Kamikazi Drop and a Kazi-lock. And we’re out of here!

Great PPV. After suffering through some bad main events, overblown angles and ludicrously contived spots, this was a breath of fresh air. Solid, well-thought out booking, good match-ups, and a nice crowd-pleasing finish. It made my night! Just fast-forward through the Crimson X/Big Ben match…

-Recommended in the highest possible terms