NFW Crash TV 7/4/2000 Retro Rant

Ted Caldweller note: The following is a Retro Rant written by Kevin Schmid in 2001. This was rescued by a loyal EWTorch reader from the dusty archives of a New Frontier Wrestling Yahoo! group. Enjoy!

Live (on tape) from the Vault in Baltimore, MD… this is the inaugural Crash TV!

– We start with a canned intro by President Quentin Sullivan and Commish Craig Miles, who pretty much welcome us to New Frontier Wrestling and tell us the product will be WRESTLING, not POLITICS.

– We go LIVE to the arena, where our announcers are fresh face Irishman Kerry O’Connor, old reliable heel color guy Lamont Hollywood, and a black midget named Calvin Carlton, who would go on to be the “Portfolio Manager” for Five Star Enterprises, but for now is a snobby roving reporter who gets picked on by O’Connor and H’Wood.

– The announcers discuss the fact that Miles hasn’t told anyone who is wrestling, but has booked a 3 Way Dance for tonight. They’re interrupted by Steve Radder, who comes to the ring and cuts a promo about being a big star and getting paid a lot of money. Radder is interrupted by Craig Miles, who comes out and reminds Radder that NFW is a indy promotion in its embryo stage, and then sends Radder to the back because he’s the booker and he can do that. On his way out, Miles tells Radder that he’s in the 3 Way Dance, and one of his opponents is Wildstar. Miles then cuts a masturbatory promo about being the boss and establishing himself as the no-nonsense commish who really doesn’t care about enforcing rules and is just there to get massive pops from the crowd. Not in so many words, but that’s the general gist.

– Oblivion Express vs. SST: There’s the answer to the trivia question of what the first match in NFW history is. The SST are Italian jobbers being managed by a black guy who pretends to be Italian. Oblivion Express are a tag team Wildstar brought in from Japan to dominate the tag division, but the Showstoppers and Hell Machine joined soon after this and that never really panned out. For our purposes, picture Dr. Death Steve Williams (“Doc Doom” Jeff Cummins) and Ice Train (“Human Train Wreck” Lionel Reese), only with talent. Anyway, Wildstar cuts a quick promo introducing the OEs, after running down David Arquette and Triple H-uh. Bell sounds, and OE hits a tandem gore on all 3 SST guys to take us to Squash City USA. SST bumps for the OE like superballs, before one of the SST guys eats a DOOMSDAY DRIVER~! from Cummins for the pin. Perfectly good squash match. **

– Ares vs. Rick Ryconik: Both of these guys are still in NFW, so you don’t need the history lesson. Your basic big guy vs. geezer match in the early going, as Ares overpowers the old man and no-sells some. Ares kicks Ryconik’s ass for a little bit, until Ryconik blocks a piledriver to make it competitive. Ryconik goes for the Polish Hammer, but Ares ducks it and we have a collision that knocks Ares to the floor. Ryconik proves he’s Polish by following a 7 foot giant to fight on the floor. Ares proves he’s not that bright by actually BEGGING OFF. Ryconik actually kicks some 7 foot ass for a while until Ares hits an inverted atomic drop to regain control. Ares goes for the Full Nelson Slam, which might legit kill a man of Ryconik’s age, but Ryconik blocks it. Ares responds by rolling Ryconik into a ball and surprising everyone with a technical pin. Well, if you ignore the whole both feet on the second rope thing. Watching this match the first time, I was a little confused because I expected a total Ares squash, but this built Ryconik’s credibility as he gave the big man a decent match. After the match, “Wild Child” Aidan Campbell comes to the ring to ask the ref for a re-start, and we establish the Miles Commish character as he’s sitting ringside and SAW the blatant Ares cheating and doesn’t care. Ares grabs Campbell for the FNS, but this time Ryconik saves him with a steel chair. Ares bails out. *1/2

– Dez Aragon vs. Cancer: Backstory here is that Dez Aragon got in a barfight and got thrown in there, and Cancer bailed him out. Cancer cuts a promo on trust and then turns his back on Aragon, who hooks Cancer with a reverse chokeslam and pins him. Short but sweet. Aragon tells Cancer not to trust him. DUD

– Roger Powell vs. P. King Duk: Powell comes out with tasty piece of ass Ms. Washington, who was given the job of Powell’s valet by the “NFW office.” Powell tells Washington to hit the bricks, earning the ire of the crowd. Total squash, establishing Powell as a bad ass as he just beats the piss out of Duk but won’t pin him and instead makes him tap out to a Dragon Sleeper. Painless squash match, unless your name is P. King Duk, but wait…Craig Miles has the mic and continues to establish his power by making Powell fight another match.

– Roger Powell vs. La Estraella 100%: Lucha JTTS 100% comes to the ring, and Powell kicks his ass too. Estraella one-ups Duk by getting some flashes of offense, which is why he’s a JTTS and not just a jobber. Powell again does the “won’t pin him” gimmick before making him tap to the Dragon Sleeper, which is now named the Contract based on Powell’s gimmick of being tricked into signing an ironclad contract with NFW and being forced to wrestle. The storyline has more logic loopholes than the contract does, but it’s not The Practice, it’s wrestling. Powell is victorious, but wait, there’s more…Miles has one more opponent for Powell.

– Powell vs. KGB: KGB is an insincere heel who claims to want to be America’s hero and gets solid heel heat here…but unfortunately, Armando Montezuma would come to the league the next show and do a similar gimmick, only Cuban. Montezuma is still around, not sure whatever happened to KGB. KGB endears himself to the Baltimore crowd by running down Cal Ripken before the match, making him a weird choice to be the blowoff match for Powell here because Powell is being built as a heel. Powell goes back into kicking ass mode and interrupts tje mic spot to get a POP, which kind of negates the effect the first 2 matches were going for. Powell dominates early, but KGB takes control and we go back and forth, establshing KGB as an actual player as opposed to JTTS (Estraella) or jobber (Duk). We fast forward to the end where Powell oversells an eye rake and T-Bone suplexes the ref. Oops. KGB waffles Powell with his “dorkslayer” (read: nightstick) and a new ref comes in to count the pin. KGB then proceeds to beat the crap out of Powell after the match, laying him out with his finisher, kind of an inverted stun gun called the Final Verdict. *** for the whole ball of wax.

– Steel Viper vs. Alex Wylde: Wylde was still making the transition from high-workrate midcard face to potential main eventer asshole heel here, and Viper is making his short-lived return to the US from wrestling in psycho matches in Japan. Viper starts out in control early, but a Wylde dropkick knocks him to the outside. Viper comes back to the ring PISSED, and kneelifts a tooth out of Wylde’s mouth. Ouch. Wylde plays heel in peril for a while, getting the crap kicked out of him by the ultra-stiff Viper. Wylde does the only logical move for an overmatched heel and low blows Viper. Wylde then gets some impressive offense in, including a Jumping DDT and a Somersault splash. Wylde takes him to the corner and does a series of chops, and then whips him across the other corner and hits a handspring elbow followed by a Diamond Cutter. Asai Moonsault by Wylde only gets 2, so Wylde hooks a Scorpion Deathlock despite never having worked on Viper’s knee or back. Viper almost gets to the ropes, but Wylde pulls him back to the middle of the ring and tries a figure four, but Viper kicks out of it and then exacts some poetic justice by low blowing Wylde. Viper goes to town on Wylde and hits a nasty spinning neckbreaker, but then goes up top and splashes Wylde’s knees. Doh. Wylde hits a spinning heel kick and then sets Viper up for the Wild Card Splash, but WildStar comes out and distracts Wylde, causing him to take just a little too much time and miss the frog splash as Viper gets out of the way. Viper goes back up top, hits an impressive moonsault, and gets the pin. Nice match. ***1/2

– 3 Way Dance: Radder vs. Wildstar vs. ??? The suspense is short-lived as Aidan Campbell is announced as the third participant after Radder and ‘Star come to the ring. Campbell is a British high flyer with Jeff Hardy hair who was supposed to be a main eventer, but then had a car accident and never came back. Wildstar pisses Miles off by flashing his 5-star hand signal, so Miles continues to put himself over by making Wildstar put his nickname and gimmick on the line. Wildstar throws a fit, and eats a double dropkick by Campbell and Radder to start the match. Campbell and Radder start while Wildstar stews. Standard opening sequence as we lock up, do a hiptoss, and then Campbell rocks Radder with a couple of dropkicks. Wildstar yawns, so Campbell and Radder turn it up a notch, as Radder hooks a thrilling side headlock, but it’s quickly countered by a Campbell suplex. Wildstar slaps Campbell on the back to tag in, and goes to work on Radder, showing off a leg lariat and a second rope moonsault. ‘Star continues to dominate Radder until missing a handspring elbow. Radder fights back and then tags Campbell back in, and Campbell rocks Wildstar with a superkick. Campbell sends ‘Star to the outside with a missile dropkick off the top, and then hits a sweet “frog plancha” on ‘Star on the arena floor. Campbell rolls Wildstar back into the ring and does what any high-flyer would do as he’s dominating someone with his quickness…he hooks a Boston Crab. Wildstar actually breaks the hold, and then takes Campbell out with a DDT. Both men crawl and try to tag Radder, and Radder jumps off the apron so they have to keep kicking the crap out of each other. So they do, and Wildstar wins the fight and then stupidly tags in Radder to finish Campbell off. H’Wood reminds us that Wildstar only loses his nickname if he’s pinned, so there’s no risk here. Radder, however, isn’t the brightest bulb, because he throws Campbell into the corner, and Campbell tags Wildstar in. Wildstar is less than pleased. Radder gets his offensive showcase in, rocking ‘Star with basic power moves and a long vertical suplex, followed by a FROG SPLASH, which only gets 2. Wildstar with a 5-star thumb to the eye, which allows him to tag Campbell back in. Campbell and Wildstar argue, and Radder clotheslines both men over the top, and the momentum takes him out there as well. All 3 men on the floor as Alex Wylde comes out to ringside. Radder and Campbell get back into the ring, while ‘Star and Wylde brawl on the floor. Radder hits a superplex that gets 2 7/8. Radder places Campbell back on the top rope, but Campbell pushes him away and comes off the top and catches Radder with a DDT. Ouch. ‘Star meanwhile bulldogs Wylde on the concrete. Ouch again. Wildstar for good measure hits a senton off the ringside railing. ‘Star gets back on the apron and blind tags Radder as he runs off the ropes and catches Campbell with a sunset flip, but it doesn’t count, because he’s no longer legal. ‘Star gets in the ring, and the first 2 men to their feet get a free spin kick. ‘Star levels Campbell with an Implant DDT and then goes up top, but Wylde chairshots him and ‘Star crashes down to Earth. Campbell picks up ‘Star and hits his finisher, a full nelson fallaway slam, and pins Wildstar to become the new 5 star man. Very nice match. ****1/4

– Before we’re done, Roger Powell debuts his baseball bat fetish by smashing KGB’s motorcycle and Miles’ Cherokee.

Bottom Line: Very solid first show. The beginning few matches aren’t anything special, but they’re a great introduction to the characters at the time. Wylde/Viper is a very solid match, and the 3-Way Dance main event is damn good.