PCW Fourth of July Spectacular
Location: Bowling Green Community Center- Bowling Green, OH
Date: July 4th
Site: Political Championship Wrestling
1,500 people jammed into the Bowling Green Community Center gymnasium for some PCW action before taking in the fireworks later in the night.
Match #1 Halitosis (Independent) vs. ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
-Von Munchke avoids Halitosis’s lethal breath and win with the old school Claw hold.
Match #2 ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete w/PeaceNick and Peta from PETA (Green World Order) vs. Michael Hunt and Richard Headd aka Guys With Unfortunate Names w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
-After complaining about the excess jingoism associated with 4th of July celebrations, the GWO take out their frustrations on the overmatched Hunt and Headd. Brock Cole Lee gets the pin with the juicer on Hunt.
Match #3 Dave the Mechanic w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
-Nice little back and forth match. Escondido gets the Cattle Mutilation submission on Dave for the win.
Match #4 NRA (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. N-Bomb (American Patriots)
-NRA gets a hand from Jack Schett to dispatch N-Bomb with the Gun Rack.
Match #5 SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Independent) vs. Al Cahall (American Heartland Coalition)
-SNAFU with the Arabian Facebuster over Cahall. The problems between Dr. Bill and SNAFU continue to fester as both men hardly spoke to each other.
Match #6 Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance) vs. A-Bomb (American Patriots)
-The match was less than 30 seconds old when Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-Il came out and directed the Axis of Evil (Khalid El and Byung-Hyung Kang) to attack. Starz and A-Bomb fight off the AoE and Ahmadinejad challenges PCW CEO Barack Obama to put together a team to meet later on tonight. Obama accepts.
Match #7 ‘The Terminatrix’ Angel Scott and ‘Ms. Lethal Weapon’ Angel Casey aka Angels of Death vs. Weathergirl Hallie and Mia Margarita
-Quick moving women’s tag match. Angels of Death gets the win when Scott nails a Scorpion Death Drop on Margarita.
Main Event #1
PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama w/”Not Just Intolerable, Not Just Unbearable, I am…” Justin Sufferable
vs. Big Oil (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
Bahama starts off with swift kicks to Big Oil’s legs. Big Oil responds with a hard clothesline. Big Oil attacks with boots to the back of the head. Reversal by Bahama. Big Oil goes for the ride into the corner. Big Oil runs out and hits a short-arm clothesline. Cover. Two count. Big Oil tries for an Oklahoma Driller but Bahama flips out of it. Bahama body slams Big Oil and follows with a leg drop. Bahama whips Big Oil into the corner and hits the splash. Bahama nails a low dropkick. Then Bahama up on the top rope- 450 Splash.
Bahama covers and gets a near fall. Big Oil whips the champ hard to the corner. Big Oil rams Bahama back first into the ring post. Bahama back on the attack, grounds Big Oil with a low dropkick. A second 450 Splash from the top rope and then the sleeper. Big Oil makes the ropes. Bahama with a kick to the midsection…BAHAMA BACKBREAKER! Big Oil taps out and that’s all.
Main Event #2:
Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance), A-Tom Bomb (American Patriots), ‘PCW’s Princess of Political Incorrectness) Andrea Doria and ??? with PCW CEO Barack Obama and ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain
vs. Khalid El, Byung-Hyung Kang, Fatima, and Soon Ye with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-Il (Axis of Evil)
This is an elimination match. When someone is pinned, he or she must leave ringside. The team who’s left standing wins the match.
Obama’s aides wheel out the rebuilt portable closet containing his aide de camp Joe Biden.
‘Born in the USA’ blares and the crowd explodes when Miss USA, making her unofficial PCW debut, comes out. The bell rings and Starz hooks up with Khalid El. Khalid starts with a wrist lock. Khalid kicks out one of Starz’s leg and cinches in the hold. A-Bomb in and hits Khalid with a dropkick. Byung-Hyung Kang pulls A-Bomb into his corner where Fatima rakes the eyes. Kang attacks A-Bomb with a double axe handle from the middle rope.
Starz sends Khalid El for the ride. Starz covers, Soon Ye puts Khalid’s foot on the ropes. Starz pulls him back into the ring and slings him face first into the far turnbuckle. Starz with a wrist lock and tags in A-Bomb. A-Bomb attacks with a double axe handle from the middle rope. A-Bomb keeps up the pressure on the arm with a shoulder lock. Then he drops Khalid with stiff kicks. Khalid makes the corner and tags in Soon Ye who is immediately joined by Miss USA.
The crowd stands as Miss USA hits a leg drop from the middle rope. She hooks both legs and gets a 2 count. Miss USA Irish Whips Soon Ye into the corner and hits an inverted atomic drop! Double leg drop from Miss USA. Miss USA tags in Andrea Doria who snap mares Soon Ye and goes for a pin. 2 1/2 count. Soon Ye scoots back to his corner and tags in Fatima. Fatima gets shots in on Doria. Doria hits back with a head butt. Doria sends Fatima for the ride; Fatima answers back with a spinning heel kick! Fatima tags in Khalid El who whips Doria into their corner. Kang, Fatima, and Soon Ye triple team Doria. Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-Il also get in cheap shots and The Princess of Political Correctness is in real trouble.
Khalid El tees off on Doria with shots to the head. He sends her into the ropes and slides between the legs of Khalid. Miss USA from the top rope nails a Patriot Missile drop kick on a charging Khalid. Khalid tries to tag out but it appears an eye injury is starting to give him problems. Miss USA and Starz hit a vertical suplex to Khalid El and Miss USA covers for a 2 3/4 count. Starz whips Khalid to the corner and goes for a splash. Ahmadinejad pulls Khalid out of the way. Soon Ye schoolboys Doria. One. Two. Three.
Andrea Doria is eliminated.
Miss USA off the top rope with catches Soon Ye flush with a Patriot Missile dropkick. She hooks the legs. One. Two. Three.
Soon Ye is eliminated. Down to three on three.
Ahmadinejad and Khalid attempt to take the American Flag. Obama and Ahmadinejad scuffle over the flag. Kim Song-Il tries to sneak in. McCain drills him with a chairshot. Starz clotheslines Il. Ahmadinejad uses the fire…misses Obama but catches the flag on fire. Miss USA slides out of the ring and dumps a bucket of water on the flag to douse the fire. Starz whips Ahmadinejad into the portable closet holding Biden. Biden: “OW! HEY! WHAT’S GOING ON?” A-Bomb comes screaming around the corner and lariats Ahmadinjead AND the portable closet. A-Bomb to the top rope now. An unhappy Kim Song-Il handed to him by Starz and McCain. TOP POWERBOMB aka BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA THROUGH AHMADINJEAD AND THE PORTABLE CLOSET!
Fatima grounds Miss USA with a leg scissors and taunts her. The referee keeps busy as Khalid and A-Bomb go at it on the outside. Finally, both get tagged in. Fatima tosses Miss USA to the outside. Again the referee gets distracted, this time by Miss USA and Fatima as they brawl and Starz and Byung-Hyung Kang. Starz’s right and sends Kang into the steel barricade. A-Bomb sends Khalid for the ride. Khalid HITS A-BOMB WIT THE FIRE! A-Bomb down clutching his eyes. Khalid covers. One. Two. Three.
A-Bomb eliminated. Now three against two.
McCain in the ring and helps A-Bomb out. Khalid on the top rope. Double axe handle to Starz drives him into the steel barricade. Double team action on Starz as elsewhere, Miss USA and Fatima are locked in a pitched battle. Double chops to Starz. Kang with martial arts kicks doubles Starz over. Khalid bulldogs Starz headfirst into a table. The table doesn’t break but blood quickly appears on Starz’s forehead. Khalid and Kang drag Starz back to the ring. More double team action follows. Kang holds Starz up and Khalid reaches into his trunks. Miss USA catches this and throws Fatima into the ring steps. Khalid’s got the fire…NO! Starz ducks. Miss USA goes top rope and Patriot Missiles Khalid into Kang. Kang gets the fire! He rolls on the canvas and out of the ring. Khalid can’t believe it. Starz slaps the American Stars and FUJI BAR submission on. Fatima tries to slide into the ring. Miss USA baseball slides her off the ring apron. Khalid taps.
Khalid eliminated. It’s now Starz and Miss USA vs. Kang and Fatima.
Miss USA rolls Kang back in. Blinded by the fire, Kang tries to crawl to a tag. But he goes to the wrong corner. Starz over…American Stars and FUJI BAR! Fatima in now. Miss USA goes low with what she calls Independence Day. Stars and Stripes next- series of head strikes with both the feet and the hands, as well as reverse knife edge chops in the corner. Fatima staggers out of the corner. CODE RED! Miss USA locks in a submission leg scissors arm bar!
Kang taps out. Fatima taps out. Double elimination!
Winner: Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance), A-Tom Bomb (American Patriots), ‘PCW’s Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition) and Miss USA (Independent)
4th of July Fireworks followed outside.