Ted Caldweller note: Due to the impending demise of GeoCities, E-Wrestling Torch is proud to repost some classic Schmucks material on our site. Enjoy!
Schmucks correspondant Al “Smarkenstein” Smith ran into BSCW’s “The Darksider” Seth Harker in Boston recently. Here’s what he had to say!
Sean Patrick Henderson… but you can call me Seth.
How the hell are you?
Tired, but happy. I’ve been flying between events for BOB and BSCW, so I’m looking forward to a few days off the road soon.
The Schmucks are buying, so what are you drinking?
I’m pretty non-biased about what I drink… although vodka and cranberry or a Canadian beer would be my pick at the moment. At this time of the day (2pm) though? Double espresso.
What was the first wrestling event you ever went to?
Some indy promotion in the local high school gym, I think… My dad and brother Hank were really into wrestling… I just tagged along.
What were you like at school?
Quiet, though studious… The teachers liked me and I hung out with the smart kids… School librarian, y’know? I probably would have been picked on if Hank wasn’t the biggest bully in school. Typical brother… protected me at school, beat the crap out of me at home… (laughs)
If you weren’t a wrestler, what would you be?
Ummm.. something creative, probably. A struggling painter, maybe. My mom sent me to ballet lessons as a kid, and was convinced I’d be a dancer, so maybe I’d be doing that…
What’s your most treasured material possesion?
My car. It’s a black Corvette Stingray, a thing of beauty, man. My old stablemate Steve Studnuts and I were lucky enough to join a federation owned by a millionaire who was running it as a tax dodge. Guys were on three hundred thou a year and wrestling in gymnasiums, man! Three months in, the guy pulls the plug and pays us out in full! I brought the car the following day…
What’s in your pockets right now?
Let’s see… Wallet with 18 bucks in cash, keys, ticket stub from my last flight and a business card from a nightclub in Philly with a phone number on it… No name, though. Whoops! (grins)
What was the last record you brought?
I picked up some stuff off the internet recently… Australian bands, mainly… Yothu Yindi, Spiderbait, The Datsuns.. they’re from New Zealand, I think… Pretty good stuff.
Who’s the wrestler you most looked up to during your early years?
Probably Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat… He could go, y’know? I SO stole his moves when I first started out.
Who was the last person you punched in a non-wrestling context, and why?
I haven’t punched anyone since I was a kid. I think I popped my best friend for breaking off the arm of my G.I Joe once. I’m pretty mellow, mostly…
What was best match you ever had?
My match against Taurus at “Bloodfest”… No question. The guy’s so easy to work with it’s ridiculous… They’re extending our program, too, which is a good sign. I just hope we can keep up the momentum.
And the worst?
Ahh, the agony of choice. I’ve had a lot of stinkers, that’s for sure. Bottom of the barrel? Probably against Chief Justice in OCW. C.J was tight with the owners and got the Erik Watts push, y’know? How bad was the match? I lost to a backslide because I just couldn’t be bothered to kick out. They released me a week later. There’s always a silver lining, huh?
What’s the worst injury you’ve received in your career?
Probably attemping the Judas Air for the first time… I was wrestling a kid named Jamie Sanchez down in Mexico, and I overshot from the springboard. I landed hard on the edge of the table… it didn’t break, but two of my ribs sure did! The worst part? You’ve heard of someone carrying a guy to a good match? Sanchez carried me all right… he literally hauled my ass around that ring for five more minutes before we went home. That was a pretty painful five, I tellya!
What’s your culinary specialty?
Domino’s Pizza! (Laughs) I’m a terrible cook. I could scramble a couple of eggs in a pinch, I guess…
Have you ever been arrested?
Nah. I got caught shoplifting a couple of tapes from K-Mart when I was ten, though. I got off with a warning and butt-load of chores from my folks.
What’s the greatest film ever made?
Raging Bull. No question.
What was the last film you watched and hated?
I caught one of those idiotic teen flicks in a hotel last week. American Pie, possibly… I missed the titles. Stupidest thing I’ve seen in years.
What’s your most unplesant characteristic?
I tend to get a little too much into character at times. I slap on the shades and the trenchcoat and BAM! Bye bye Sean, hello Seth! People try to talk to me and I’m so focused I walk right on by. There’s probably a few guys who think I’m an arrogant prick after meeting me the first time. I’m not, honest! Just too far in the Zone…
In a wacky Hollywood-esque sequence of events, you’ve been turned invisible for 24 hours. What do you do?
Find that Marcel Marceau guy and kick the crap out of him! (Laughs) It’d be great… no-one’d help him, because they’d just think he was doing a really convincing mime!
Do you like reggae music?
I’m not the biggest fan… but I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for “No Woman, No Cry”… “Every little things gonna be all right”… words to live by, man…
Can you recite a line of poetry?
Hundreds. My favourite, though?
“She stood on the bridge at midnight,
Breathing midnight air.
Someone came along and took the bridge away,
And left her standing there.”
My grandfather taught me that when I was eight, man. (Laughs)
…Easier to achieve than most people think.
Where are you off to right now?
Physically? Shoot a promo and get some physio on a shoulder strain. Metaphorically? Onwards and upwards, man… onwards and upwards!