The “Not” Keith Rant for WTFL Power Hungry ’01 Repost

Ted Caldweller note: Due to the impending demise of GeoCities, E-Wrestling Torch is proud to repost some classic Schmucks material on our site. Enjoy!

The “Not” Keith SCHMUCKS Rant for WTFL’s Power Hungry ’01

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s back to the tape library we go! And once more, we return to the WTFL, this time for their recent “Power Hungry” PPV. The video box boasts 11 matches, so I stocked up on a dozen beers… just to be on the safe side lest an impromptu match gets signed. Better to be safe than sober!

-We are lve from the RCA Dome in Indianapolis. “Good Old” Jim Ross and Jerry “Puppies and Kitties and More Puppies, Oh My” Lawler are in the booth. Very brief intro before we get right to our first match.

-Almoore Dudley vs. The Outsider (Hardcore Match)

The Outsider plays the pysche game, allowing Dudley to chop away to his hearts content while he stands there and smiles. He takes a clothesline, then reverses a piledriver with a backdrop. They do a token wrestling sequence before Dudley rolls out and produces a trash can lid. He shows it to the crowd, Outsider simply steals it from the apron and beats him with it like a British Member of Parliment. Dudley reverses a whip to the steps and hits a dropkick off the apron. They brawl into the crowd, and play “I-have-you-by-the-hair-so-you-mast-folow-me”. Dudley gives The Outsider a cool, refreshing drink, missing his mouth by a few inches, but the thought was there. He uses a trashcan on the blinded Outsider, then places it on his head and hitting a drop toehold on the floor. Ouch. Cover gets 2, Outsider fights back, spearing Dudley down a stairway. Double Ouch. They brawl back to ringside, The Outsider chairshots Dudley, then hits a back-suplexey type thing over the barricade for 2. He tosses tons of trash into the ring as well as a table. He hits the Bloodlust for 2, they fight back out to the floor. Geez, make up your mind. The Outsider hits an absolutely brutal shot to the face with a broomstick. He uses some Kendo Stick Fu and applies the Sacrifice. Dudley breaks the pinfal with some Kendo Stick Fu of his own. He charges, The Outsider swats him away with a chair and beats on him. Dudley lowblows and hits a spectacular move, bouncing off the ringropes on a back body drop, nailing a DDT on the floor on the rebound. Well executed, that one. Dudley once more applies the Trashcan Helmet on The Outsider, but his radar is working this time, allowing him to duck and lowblow a stair-wielding Dudley. Van-Trash-Can-Outsidernator scores, Dudley ends up on the table. The Outsider goes up. Dudley makes it up in time to nail him with a kendo stick, then hits a Mooro Drop off the buckle through the table for the pin. **1/2 Perfectly acceptable garbage wrestling.

-Backstage, Brayden Rain is attacked by Tha(sic) Realist. Refs break it up before anything major can happen.

-Brayden Rain vs. Tha Realist

Staredown turns into a boxing match early, with Rain winning on points. Neckbreaker, spear and FISTS OF FIRE from Rain, Realist lands on his feet off a monkey flip. Gutkick and bulldog, Rain is YOUR Face In Peril. Realist hits a nice dropkick and belly-to-belly. Legdrop gets 2. Underhook suplex, Realist drops a leg South of the border. Rolling suplex into a neckbreaker, rolled into a DDT (AKA The TriDon) from Realist. Shooting Star Press gets 2. He drops his head and gets DDT’ed. Rain hits the Type-O Negative for 2. Snap suplex for 2. Elbow drops, armdrags and a bridged German suplex in quick sucession get 2. Sleeper drop, senton legdrop misses. Tha Realist ducks a wild swing and T-Bones Rain. Piledriver for 2, they head to the floor to brawl. Tha Realist beats Rain mercilessly, hitting The Chronic and a moonsault off the guardrail. Back inside, 2 count off the resultant cover. Spinning heel kick off the top, Realist applies the Tarantuala Torque. Rain crawls for the ropes, Tha Realists grip slips, allowing Rain to reach them. Hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb, Rain goes up for a missile dropkick. Superkick gets 2. Reverse DDT, Rain goes up again. He nails the Revisiting Avalon (Funky name!) for 2 and 7/10’s. Tha Realist turns the tide and hits the Desence for 2 and a half. (Like Incense, only lower, perhaps.) Tha Realist decides it’s time for a chair, which in all honesty, is the LAST thing this match needs. Luckily, The Outsider reaches in from the crowd to snatch it away from him. Rain and Tha Realist fight as The Outsider takes up sentry duty in Rains corner. Rain drills Realist with a DDT as the match looses the plot. Yes, start the Run-ins! A Masked Man charges the ring, followed by Daffney to make the save. She unmasks the Masked (Wo)Man, revealling Rio Storm. I crack open my first beer. Security prevents a catfight as Rain suddenly hits the Downpour for the 3-count. *** Great match needlessly interrupted by a pointless run-in that killed the flow stone dead. More people were probably watching the action happening outside the ring than the matches ending. Had the run-in been post-match, we’d have been looking at 4-stars for sure.

-Tag Team Turmoil Match for the Tag Titles.

Danny Moore and Adam Starr are first up, facing Snakehead and Kidman Jr. (Jr?? If he’s related to Billy, shouldn’t he still be playing Little League or something?) Moore goes to the ARM-bar right off the bat, Snakehead gouges his way out. Snap suplex and legdrop get 2. Classic heel tactics as Snakehead distracts the ref, allowing Kidman to choke out Moore in the corner. Starr comes in, the ref shoos him out as Danny plays Ricky Moore-ton. They hit the Headbanger-ish leapfrog stungun. Kidman covers for 2. Tag to Snakehead, another doubleteam is interrupted by Starr with the (highly appropriate) Party Crasher. The ref tries to get him out, Starr looses his rag and throws him out of the ring. He proceeds to chairshot everybody in reach as the ref DQ’s his team. Well, if you have to lose, lose with style, huh?

Team 3 are Louie Anderson and Richard Pryor. Smell the Comdey! Snakehead gets a Stinkyface from Pryor as Anderson hits the Porkster on Kidman to eliminate them. Next!

Team 4 are Deadly Dean and Flame. Pryor plants a tongue kiss on Howard Finkel (I REALLY didn’t need to see that. Time to crack beer number 2!) as Louie Anderson gets on the stick. Please, get the hook for these two. Dean answers my prayers with an evenflow DDT for the pin on Anderson.

Well, we appear to have gotten back on track as Malicious Intent, the tag champs are number 5. Aggonizer mat-wrestles Dean and tags in Meanstreak. Suplex and legdrop combo scores, chopfest breaks out. Dead DDT’s Meanstreak but can’t reach his corner to tag. Extremely brief sleeper sequence, Meanstreet gets jawjacked by Dean. He crawls for the tag, Aggonizer distracts the ref, who won’t allow the tag. Malicious Intent hit the Nightmare Suspension, Meanstreak takes out Flame as Aggonizer pins to eliminate Dean and Flame.

Team 6 are Reckless Youths. Aggonizer allows some token offense for Ja Lam, then hits a bridging suplex for 2. The champs continue to dominate, double-teaming at will. Hurricanrana gets 2, frog splash misses. Hot tag to Scott Falcon. he covers for 2, then gets 2 more off a belly-to-back. Camel clutch goes nowhere, Aggonizer schoolboys for 2. Nightmare Suspension hits once more, Meanstreak tags in. 450 splash hits the knees. Dramatic Irony as Aggonizer is prevented from entering by the ref, allowing Ja Lam to hit a Kaigie Sault on Meanstreak. Well, the ref is unbaised, at least. Falcon covers for 2 as Ja Lam and Aggonizer brawl on the floor. Lowblow gets 2 for Meanstreak, he tries for the tag. No-one’s at home, Meanstreak turns and walks into a Dark Claw for the upset pinfall for Reckless Youths.

The final (I think) team is the Pimpact Players. Malicious Intent prove to be sore losers, chairshotting everybody and hitting the Prognosis Negative onto steel chairs. With everyone laid out, they take their leave. Ja lam crawls to cover EM Pimp for 2. He hits the Sanctuary for 3 to secure the belts for Reckless Youths. I’ll give this one a cautious **, as there was some good, old-school tag wrestling. But the attempted-comedy section seemed excess to requirements. Reckless Youth vs. Malicious Intent should make for a nice rematch. (Or possibly, already has… It’s been 2 months or so since this one aired.)

-Video package for Paco vs. Biohazard.

-Paco (w/Mojo the monkey) vs. Biohazard (w/Jasmine, who’s not a monkey)
-European Title Falls Count Anywhere Match

If Jasmine gets in a fight with Mojo during this one, I’m cracking another beer. Just a warning. Paco gets the first punches in. Biohazard finally blocks a right, and gets a left instead. Some EUROPEAN VIOLENCE, Paco slips out of a bulldog and we get a staredown. Some good counterhold wrestling from a test-of-strength. Biohazard gets 1 off a back bodydrop. They tie-up again, Paco gets a loooong hanging suplex. Biohazard is sent to the floor. He catches a baseball slide and powerbombs Paco face-first on the floor. Back inside, Biohazard gets tossed out again. Flying body press misses, Paco meets the safety rail. They return to the ring again, rolling snap suplexes from Biohazard. The third is blocked, Paco squirms out and hits a reverse DDT for 2. Positivly evil move from Paco as he fakes an injury, then lowbridges Biohazard as he attempts a high knee. They fight up the ramp, Paco stops for a beverage break. Very generous fans with their drinks in WTFL. Swinging neckbreaker on the stage gets 2 for Paco. He works the knee, Biohazrd reverses the hold. Paco kicks him off, running Biohazard into the set. He bulldogs Biohazrd off the stage and ALL THE WAY TO HELL! Well, if Hell was equipped with spongy crash pads, anyway. It gets 2. Biohazard is bleeding from the nose, possibly legit. They fight backstage, followed by some audience plants… members. Paco gets another 2-count, then chats with the fans. Hey, how about signing some autographs too, Mr Over-confident! It proves to be a match-turner, as he forearms a concrete wall soon after. Biohazrd works the arm as they walk-and-brawl. Neckbreaker gets 2. They fight in a construction area. PLASTIC PIPE OF DOOM gets 2 for Biohazard. They find a stack of tables (In a construction site. How… odd.) Paco is sent into the woodwork for 2. Biohazard has allies waiting, and so the run-ins begin. Almoore Dudley and The Outsider (Man, he’s everywhere tonight!) attack Paco, along with “Old School” Joel Cinder. This clears the locker room as The PIMPS OF DEATH, Pryor and HollyWood (Not Hogan, thank God) Crudley make the save. Dangerous moment as tables fall from the stack onto Biohazard. Paco compounds this by hitting a senton onto the pile. It gets 2. They head back to the arena, Paco brings out another table and hits the Red Light District for 2 before Jasmine interferes with the HIGH HEELS OF PERSISTANT ANNOYANCE. Mojo attacks her. Hey, it’s Miller Time!! Biohazard saves Jasmine… and DDT’s the monkey.(!!!) The animal liberationists are going to KILL these guys. His BioBomb is reversed by Paco into the EuroBomb for 2. They kind-of brawl, Biohazard throws Paco through the table with the descent to retain. *1/2 Just couldn’t get excited about this one, even with the Angle/Benoit-like opening. There, but barely.

-SwD vs Eye Candy (Steel Cage Match)

Hey, two former tag team partners in a grudge match. I really should watch the WTFL TV shows, as I have no idea what happened to split them up. Apparently, Eye Candy stole SdW’s woman, or something. In case you’re unaware, SdW stands for Sweet Dick Willy, thus providing fodder for pee-pee jokes in both America AND the U.K. Enough plot, let’s get to the match! SdW jumpstarts the match by slamming the door in Eye Candys’ face. They brawl on the floor, SdW gets bounced off the cage, then the rail. He ducks a chair thet EC throws at him, and takes him down. A brief fistfight later, they make it inside the cage and we get the opening bell. The brawl continues, with SdW getting the upper hand. Overhead belly-to-belly and hanging suplex. SdW hits some stiff knees and legdrops, T-bone and DD follow. He plays to the crowd, allowing Eye Candy to apply a painkiller and hit a tornado DDT. Jackhammer, EC heads up, SdW crotches him on the ropes. Sweet Dreams is blocked, EC nails the Sweet Twist instead. EC tries to climb out again, but gets hung up in the Tree of Woe. SdW baseball slides EC’s heads into the cage, busting him open. Piledriver, EC manages to gutbust SdW on the top rope and dropkick him into the steel. Another dropkick jams his head into the bars again. These guys are really getting some agression out on each other! DVD and snap suplex, SdW blocks a second and attempts a powerslam. EC slides out and uses a half nelson suplex and spinebuster. SdW turns a hurricarana into a Sweet Dick Drop from the top. (Which thankfully doesn’t involve his dick in any way.) SdW climbs, EC powerbombs him off the cage and frog splashes him. Brainbuster and reverse DDT, Eye Candy applies a figure-four. Kind of pointless, but I guess he needed a breather. Superplex is blockled, face-first suplex for Eye Candy. Elbowdrop, release German and the Rings of Saturn from SdW. After wasting more time in the hold, SdW tries to escape. Eye Candy meets him at the top (After selling the Rings as if he passed out… hell of a recovery!) and bounces his head off the steel. SdW crashes to the mat, Eye Candy goes to the top of the cage. Big Bump as he misses the G-Spot! (Well, in fairness, most men never even find it…) SdW tries for the door, Eye Candy pops up and throws him into the cage. SdW blades, Eye Candy blades as he retaliates, SdW hits the Power Surge. He tries to climb out again, Eye Candy catches his foot. SdW DDt’s Eye Candy off the top rope and applies the Sweet Embrace. (This is getting disturbing!) Worse is to come as he gets behind Eye Candy for the “Moon Doggie”. (No, it’s not what you’re thinking, you perverts!) Eye Candy responds with a spinning heel kick and double arm DDT. He heads up yet again, and yet again gets caught at the top by SdW who hits the Sweetener back to the mat. SdW is the first up, crawling to the door. Eye Candy drags him back in and applies the Candy Leaf. He asks the ref for a chair, the ref refuses to give him one. So Eye Candy yells at the ref, who kind of goes “Oh, okay then…” and gets him one. That’s the most easily intimidated ref I’ve ever seen! SdW ducks a chairshot, then takes the chair off the hardly-resisting Eye Candy and lays him out with it. He climbs out of the cage, then back in again, only to miss the “Sugar High” off the top. (This match is NOT recommended for people with diabetes… Sugar High, Sweeteners, Sweet Dreams… we get it already!) Eye Candy goes up, then strings the match out even more by hitting the Air Canada. They lie around a while, Eye candy makes for the door, SdW chairshots him. Sweet Dreams with a chair and we get a very unwelcome run-in. A Man in Black (Neither Tommy Lee Jones or Will Smith, I’m afraid) jumps the guardrail and enters the cage. GORE GORE GORE on SdW. Eye Candy adds a Candy Cane (ENOUGH!) for laughs, the man helps him out to end the match. ** Started well with great selling of the bad blood between the two, but just lost steam as they started playing “Who Can Take The Biggest Bump?”. Too long as well, leading to a feeling of frustration as they both threw away the win for one more big spot.

-Big Tex vs. Mark Richman ( X-treme Title Stairway to Hell Match)

Never heard of a Stairway to Hell match? me either… but I’m not overly looking forward to it, as there’s barb wire suspended over the ring(??) This should be interesting to say the least. Richman asks to take a look at the belt, then tries a cheapshot with it. Nice. Tex ducks it and the fists are suddenly a-flying. Richman gets the advantage with a clothesline and hits a brainbuster. He tries for the ladder, Tex chases him out and they brawl in the aisle. STOP SIGN OF HARDCORE DOOM comes in to play, with Richman kicking it back into Tex’s face. Tornado DDT, Tex blades early. More brawling, Richman tries a battering ram with the ladder, hitting the post instead. They brawl some more, out come the kendo stick and trashcan lids. I don’t actually know what the object of this match is, to tell the truth. It’s a ladder match for barb wire, but it’s not first blood, and no-ones trying for pinfalls. Brain hurts… need beer. They roll in and start doing ladder spots. Richman works Texs’ leg and makes the first attempt for the barb wire. Tex kicks the ladder over, Richman makes an ugly landing. They brawl again, Richman is powerbombed onto the ladder. Richman is suplexed off the ladder, but gets up first and applies a protracted figure four. Finally he heads up, Tex catches him and hits a face-first variation of a powerbomb onto the ladder. Panhandle slam, Tex retrieves the barb wire. I fast forward past the barb wire spots to the end, as Richman hits a Twiztid Drop onto the wire for the title. Okay, so it was a pinfalls count match. No rating as I have no intention of sitting through gruesome barb wire spots to judge the match. Nothing too exciting during the ladder-spot section, anyway. Suffice it to say, both men juice like there’s no tomorrow.

-ZZ vs. AK. vs. Sean Miller vs. ICE
(U.S Title #1 Contendership Match)

Huge brawl breaks out before ICE even gets introduced. Even bigger, more confusing four-way brawl commences as EVERYONE gets a chance to play Ricky Morton. AK gets a few pin attempts before we get a 4-way KO. AK and ICE do a token wrestling sequence before everyone starts hitting patented maneuvers pretty much at will. Then the match moves to the floor for another brawl and move-fest. Finally, ZZ applies the Iron Maiden on ICE (ice, baby?) for the tap-out. Maybe it ‘s the beer, but there was just too much happening at once to recap properly. Looked about ** or so.

-RDB vs Rawkus (U.S Title Tournament Finals)

RDB takes the low road, with the EVIAN SPEW OF DOOM during the intros. Rawkus decks him and dropkicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the outside. with RDB getting the upper hand and putting the boot it. Suplex on the floor, more brawling, Rawkus stunguns RDB on the guardrail and posts him. They finally make it into the ring. More punching and stomping, Rawkus hits the second actual move of the match with a spinebuster for 2. Overhead belly-to-belly, RDB fires back with more punches and DVD’s Rawkus for 2. Powerbomb and cross-face, Rawkus makes the ropes after an eternity in the hold. RDB powerslams him for 2 but misses a spear. The commentators try to sell a shoulder injury for RDB as Rawkus works the arm. RDB negates that by lowblowing Rawkus and putting him on his sholders to attempt the RDB neckbreaker. Rawkus slides out and nails the No Boundaries for 2 “Head-On collision” is countered into an RDB slam, which is countered into a reverse DDT in a nice, fluid sequence. Double arm DDT gets 2 for Rawkus. He brings in the timekeepers chair, RDB meets him with a spear that knocks RDB off the apron. They brawl on the floor again, with RDB chairshotting Rawkus a few times. RDB and the ref argue, allowing Rawkus to return the favour. He hefts RDB onto the Spanish Announce table for the Head-on Collision. Rawkus sets up the Climatic Bump by setting up a table… in the audience. Okay, this should be interesting. In the ring, he hits the No Respect for a long 2. They continue the brawl, with RDB hitting the RDB Slam and RDB Neckbreaker, both for 2. RDB seems to run out of moves at this point, missing yet another spear. Rawkus places him on the table and hits a Raucous Behaviour off the top through the table. Bringing him back inside, he attempts the Flick of the Switch to add an exclamation point. RDB fights him off, attempts a superplex, which Rawkus reverses into the Flick anyway to win the belt. **1/2 Solid, though a tad repetitive. Like a Rock match, it was all about the punches.

-Earlier, Mixx insulted Gabrial Storm and received a hot cup of joe in the face. Personal wish… NO MORE COFFEE-RELATED ANGLES! If it didn’t work for Jericho/Kane, it probably aint working here…

-Mixx vs. Gabrial Storm (w/Venom)

Mixx comes in swinging, hitting the “Fatal Fury” right off the bat. Storm fires back and works the arm. Mixx backdrops him off a whip for 1. THREE PUNCHES OF DOOM gets 2. Mixx argues with the ref about the count and walks into a series of spinning kicks. Storm clotheslines him all over the ring, then distracts the ref as Venom slides in to lowblow Mixx. Then Venom distracts the ref as Storm monkey flips Mixx out of the corner for 2. Mixx ducks a kick and reverses a rana into a Boston Crab, which Stomr powers out of before he can lock it in. Mixx dumps Storm on the top buckle and hits the Jagged Pill for the 3-count. 1/2* Over in the blink of an eye… NO! DUSTY FINISH! Storms leg is on the ropes, so we continue. Storm hits the Redemptor, knocking Mixx out of the ring. They brawl, with Mixx nearly breaking Storms leg on the announce table during a blown suplex. Back inside, Storm gets all Bruce Lee, working the shoulder with martial arts strikes. He applies a bow-and-arrow, but the ref counts like it was a choke, rather than checking for a submission. What a dink. Some flippy-floppy stuff leads to a guillotine legdrop for 2 from Storm. Dropkick and elbowdrop from Mixx, criss-cross leads to a bridged German for 2. They trash-talk, Storm slaps Mixx, Mixx hits the NC-17 three times in a row. Storm bails, then returns to lock in the Broken Halo. Mixx gouges to escape, and HE bails. Venom does the railrunner, but is caught and posted by Mixx. Storm follows him out and they head backstage. Nothing happens, and the ref somehow forgets to count both men out. They return to the ring for a double KO, the ref decides to count this time. They’re up at 9, Crystiana runs down to support Mixx. (If it’s a swerve, I’m cracking another brewski…) Storm tries a roll-up for 2. They reverse each others moves at will until Storm hits the Pendulum for 2 and 8/10’s. They continue to brawl, Storm getting 2 off a missed something from Mixx. Mixx abrubtly hits the Mixxplex to end it. **1/3 Not bad for a coffee angle, but just seemed stretched. (Especially the walk-and-brawl that went nowhere… needless padding.) And where was the ending?

-Postmatch, Shawn Michaels(!!) runs-in and KO’s Mixx with the Sweet Chin Music. Apparently, WTFL vbs. The World is their next PPV. (Will I review it? Well, internet reports mention that WTFL have signed at least 20 matches(!!!), so I’ll need to stock up on beer first.) Oh, and Shawn kidnaps Crystiana as well. Way to play the face, Shawn!

-Backstage, Triz congratulates Rawkus on his victory by beating the shit out of him. Nice guy.

-Non-Retard vs. Silent Assassin (First Blood Match)

KENDO STICK VIOLENCE from Not-A-Retard as Assassin enters. Some fast back-and-forth action as Assassin brutaliases What-Me-Reatrd’s nose. Fameasser scores, No-Retard-Here avoids a blind charge and hits a German suplex. He goes for a chair, hits the Smore, then a chair-assisted elbowdrop. Assassin continues to pummel Retard? Me?’s nose, then sends him through the announce table with a hurricanarana off the top. Waterjug Fu from Assassin, and powerslam on thwe floor. J.R makes a verbal boo-boo, insinuating that Assassin is waiting for Who’s-a-Retard? to be “fully erect” before applying a pumphandle slam onto the guardrail. Leave the smutty stuff to Lawler, J.R… They brawl inside, with Nope-I’m-Not-A-Retard hitting a gutwrenchpowerbomb. He makes his bid for a “Keithie” by creating a Flaming Kendo Stick. He uses it on Assassin, before the ring crew extinguishes it. Much good it does Retard, running into a boot on a blind charge. The Assassination misses, Non-Retard hits a hammerlock reverse DDT (Points for originality there) before we return to the brawl on the floor. Rana into the crowd, we go a-wandering once more. For about 90 seconds, until Ex-Retard takes a tumble back towards ringside. No, that wasn’t pointless. Piledriver on the stairs, more bralwing, Silent Night from Assassin, more brawling inside, more beer. Mmmm.. beer! Finally, Non-Reatrd gets the win after a splash with a chair kicker. (First time I’ve seen INTERNAL bleeding win a first blood match…) *3/4 Just way too padded and protracted. Not that that’s the first time I’ve thought that tonight.

-Nightmare vs. Right Angle vs. Sitruk vs. Adrenaline (WTFL World Title Match)

And it’s main event time. Everyone pairs off from the bell, Sitruk dumps Angle out with a press slam. They brawl on the floor as Nightmare and Adrenaline do likewise inside. Angle sends Sitruk into the steps, then bulldogs him onto them. Nightmare begins his usual tricks, no-selling an enziguri. Angle takes a jaw-first bump into the guardrail as Nightmare hits a spinebuster for 2 on Adrenaline before Sitruk saves. (What, Adreanaline couldn’t kick out of that one move? Way to make your main eventers look like wusses…) Adrenaline hits Sitruk with the A-Bomb (Not the Adam Bomb , thankfully) for 2. Angle bodyblocks everyone except Nightmare off the top. (Well, Nightmare wouldn’t have sold it, anyway…) Nightmare’s heads out for a chair as Angle gets 2 off a Heroic Dive on Sitruk. He chairshots Adrenaline through the ropes, then chairshots Angle as he sets up for the Goodwill Games Slam. (I keep telling them, the Olympic Slam is taken already!) Sitruk drills Angle with the Incessant Drop, Nightmare saves at 2. Nightmare works over adrenaline, then gets in a staredown with Sitruk. They seem to come to some sort of arrangement, nailing a spiked powerbomb on Adrenaline. They both hit their finishers, Nightmare putting the Cataclysm on Adrenaline, Angle taking the Incessant Drop. (Okay, they’re both chokeslams, but they’ve got cool names, okay?) Nightmare covers Adrenaline for the 3-count to retain as Sitruk does nothing. (Can I have a beer for a possible SWERVE?) I can probably take a drink for the post-match run-in as Madd Dogg swantons Angle for kicks. They announce the formation of The Foundation, then put Adrenaline through the remains of the announce table and chairshot Angle at will. And that’s the show! Oh, right, match rating… call it *, as nothing really happened. Confusing four-way brawls have no place in a main evnt, in my humble opinion…

-The Bottom Line: The usual loooong WTFL card. Not that that’s always a bad thing. (A little more padding that usual, though) Good, above-average card on the whole, with nothing to really detest (Unless you hate barbed wire like I do) and an excellent match that could have been so much more. (Brayden Rain vs Tha Realist) Died a little at the end, but solid, dependable entertainment from an above-average company.

-Recommended for those with enough stamina.