I was looking around varies eWrestling sites today, just trying to catch up on some places I used to visit on a regular basis when I cam across a forum post with the title I’m Done and the tag line of I’m Out. Instantly I knew this was a notice of leaving, but felt inclined to click the post link and see if there was any good reason. That was when I was welcome with this very short, and straight to the point post:
Basically due to a continued lack of interest I’m done with this site and I’m out. Do whatever you want with my characters: I don’t care. Bye.
No long goodbye, no fuck you list, nothing like that just a couple of lines telling the place he was done. Do I know the circumstances leading up to such an abrupt exodus? No, and from the looks of the replies this particular person will be missed. But this did get me to thinking about the many ways I have seen people leaving feds over the years and figured I’d run down the list of ways I’ve seen people quit and my opinion of each in hopes that this will open up some discussion. Maybe you’ve experienced the same? Done the same? Maybe you’ve seen something not on my list? Let’s see what, if anything, comes from it.
The Disappearing Act
This is probably the most frequently used for of leaving an eFed. The handler is booked and then nothing is seen afterwards. The handler doesn’t post on the OOC board, no roleplay goes up, not a single message on Skype or AIM, just POOF! gone. This is usually used by people who are either new to the fed and realize it isn’t for them or they don’t have time, or the handler who feels like he isn’t going anywhere and just doesn’t care anymore. Usually the person using this tactic is someone who doesn’t want to be confrontational, and they feel this is the best way to do it without anyone getting upset.
They are wrong.
This is the most frustrating way someone can quit an eFed, not only to the fed head but to the other handlers as well. Typically when someone uses this form, it is not discovered until after the roleplay deadline has hit. Not only does the fed head now to account for someone no showing their event, but the person or people they were to face have been left with the feeling of not knowing how the match would have played out if their opponent had in fact RPed.
What makes it even worse is when you see this person pop up in another eFed about the same time or right after. How should that make someone feel about something they put their time and energy into? What makes that eFed so much better? This way of quitting leaves way too many unanswered questions. Of course there are the ones that do it and no one ever sees them again, or they turn up months or years later. That just makes things really weird.
The Last Minute Vanish
This situation isn’t much different than The Disappearing Act above, except this is the person who has been active on the boards all week, and has told you on instant messenger a few times through the period that they are almost done with their roleplay and/or segment. Maybe they have said work has sucked or some family stuff has happened so they are running behind, all fine and legitimate excuses. But when it comes down to the wire who can’t be found? That’s right, The Last Minute Vanish.
This one really is frustrating.
Unlike The Disappearing Act above, you have talked to this person, they have posted on your boards. In most cases you have been made aware that something in life is holding them back from RPing, so you make exceptions. These people are usually given a pass and booked the next show because, well maybe “shit wont be so hectic this week.” After a few weeks have passed, you then realize that they have vanished, without a trace.
Did they lose their internet? Die? Get fired and go on a shooting rampage and end up in jail? You almost feel bad when you remove their name from the roster, because what if? Understandably things come up, and it’s always good to let the people you are fedding with know, so The Last Minute Vanish isn’t seen as such a bad guy… at first. They set you into an awkward position where you need to make the judgement call that they are no longer in the fed. What if they come back a month later and the worst had happened? Then you just feel like a dick.
Like The Disappearing Act, what makes it even worse is when you see this person pop up in another eFed about the same time or right after.
The Private Rage Quit
As a fed head, you have the daunting task of trying to make sure that the people in your fed are happy and having fun. The whole purpose of our hobby is to just enjoy ourselves in a creative way that has wrestling as the theme. There are times though when you find yourself in a discussion where a handler disagrees with how you are running things. Maybe it’s over a match result, or claims of you not being fair, the excuses can be almost anything. In the end, your discussion has escalated into something along the lines of You know what? Fuck this, I quit.
Now, The Private Rage Quit sucks like any other type of person quitting, but you have the upper hand here as a fed head. You know why they quit, even if you don’t agree. You know for sure that they quit, allowing you to make any necessary changes you may need to. The best part is it was handled privately. Anytime dirty laundry is aired in an eFed, things can get ugly. This allows you to contain the fall out a little better, and paint a better picture of why this sudden roster change has happened.
The Private Rage Quit also gives you a chance to re-evaluate how things are being done without hearing everyone’s two cents. Maybe this person made some valid points, or pointed out a pretty alarming flaw you had not realized? Yes, you lose a roster member, but you have new knowledge that you can put to good use to try and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
The Public Rage Quit
This can happen in a variety of different ways, almost all that really suck as a fed head. No matter who is right, or who is wrong the fed is hurt in this scenario at least for the immediate now. This typically goes down on the OOC board starting out as a post from the person going over why they no longer want to be in the fed. This ranges from all of the items above and more. Maybe it was match results, or how people are treated. Maybe this person just thinks you, the fed head, and/or everyone else in the fed is a total douche-bag. It’s OK to have these opinions, but they take it the one step further and vent it in front of the world.
Usually when you’re not logged in and don’t see it until it’s spiraled out of control.
The complaints by this person may or may not be valid, and they may or may not be shared by others. What does happen is no matter, sides will be taken. I’ve seen many eFeds die because of something like this not being stopped quick enough. Not only does it look bad to those currently in the fed, but those looking from the outside. If you are looking to join a fed and when you check out their OOC board you see a 7 page thread about how everyone and their mother in the fed is a fucktard, chances are you will no longer have a good opinion of that fed. Word then spreads around, and before you know it, it is an uphill battle to get things back to normal.
This doesn’t help anyone, and is the type of activity I would plead for anyone to avoid. For the person leaving, what if people in your new fed see this? How do you think it will affect their opinion of you? I can tell you one thing, if someone applied in my fed I’d do some research, and if that research came up that this is how they handle disagreements, they would not be brought in.
No one wins.
The Follower is the person or people who leave when their friend has. Maybe they just want to RP wherever this person has, or maybe they agree with why they left. Maybe they just don’t want to strain their friendship so they dip out too, there can be many reasons. In our hobby we build close friendships, and these friendships can create a bond and loyalty that we feel we need to have to those we call friends. It is usually this bond or loyalty that causes someone to be The Follower.
The Followers aka The Fed Splitter aka Can You Come Up With a Better Name
Losing one or two roster members is never an ideal situation, but when The Follower turns into The Followers it hits a fed hard. This is nothing new to the hobby and in fact you may have seen it a time or two through out your journey through eWrestling. One person decides that “enough is enough” and begins to gather their friends and those like minded to leave the eFed in one sweeping motion and either start a new eFed or join another together.
OK, so this is where things are complicated. Now, not only do you have one eFed where there was obviously some drama and issues, but you now have a second eFed born from drama and issues. 70% of the time in this situation parties from both sides will instantly have “heat” as childish as it sounds. From a personal experience, I had inadvertently thrust myself into one of these situations when I opened up FedWars. Unknowing to me at the time, a fed I was trying to court had actually just did this. Obviously, they would not be joining FedWars because the eFed they parted from had joined previously. Upon talking to members of both feds, it was very clear that neither side wanted anything to do with the other and I left it at that.
In the middle of all of this, you have the people who are indifferent to it all. They are happy in the original fed and maybe don’t understand or see why everyone else is so upset. At the same time they are friends with some of the guys leaving for the other fed. They are then put in the weird position that I faced. It’s no fun being in the middle.
Now, will the new fed flourish or fail? Was it worth leaving, or could things have been worked out? As for the original fed, can they survive the massive hit and recoup? It will take time, and probably some altering how things are done to ensure others don’t do the same later. In the end, wouldn’t it have just been easier to have an open discussion and not be so irrational? We can always hope at least one, if not both of the feds flourish and leave behind what caused the split, no matter how how big or small of a reason.
The Quiet Mouse
Remember the example at very beginning of the article I gave as my reason for writing this? I like to call the The Quiet Mouse approach. This is where the person will let everyone know that they are leaving, but really not dig into much detail. it could be real life, personal issues, or even like my example the person just not feeling it anymore. What I’ve come to see is this approach isn’t the worst way to go. it’s not the best, but it’s leaves the situation a lot more approachable.
As a fed head I will temporarily be hurt by this move, and yes I will need to deal with shifting any current bookings or angles around, but in the end I really don’t have a reason to be mad. Real life happens and burn out. Fellow handlers usually take this pretty well also, wishing the departing person good luck in the future and leaving kind words for them. I’m not saying if you are going to quit a fed to do this, but it’s not the most dickish way to. It also usually leaves the door open for a return.
The It’s Not You, It’s Me
This is the person who wants to leave an eFed for any reason, but doesn’t want to be confrontational. Unlike The Disappearing Act, this person will give a reason they are leaving, usually not the real reason. Typically they will go out of their way to try and make sure that everyone knows they are leaving because of them. Excuses they use are that they do not feel they are up to par with everyone else, or that they are doing the fed more harm than good. Usually this person really just wants to venture elsewhere but doesn’t want you to think you don’t have a good fed.
This is when a co-fed head or major staff member decides to quit, usually in a manner that temporarily disrupts how the eFed operates. I call it The Divorce, because most of the time the person begins to claim stuff that was their idea, or start using the same features and such that made the original fed popular in their fed.
Like real life, sometimes the divorce can be amicable, or it can be down right dirty. The Divorce can also introduce other types of eFed quitters like The Follower(s) or either of The Rage Quits. A good fed head can quickly recover and move on if this happens by either taking on more of the work load, or having someone step up to take the departing party’s spot.
The Title Holder aka The Main Storyline
This is more or less a sub section of anything above with the exception that the person, or people leaving currently are champions or involved in a major story line. This in general just sucks all the way around because now stories and championships have to be re-booked in a way it wont mess up everything else going on. There is a special place in hell for someone who falls into the category of The Title Holder.
The Two Week Notice
Don’t let the title of this mislead you, it doesn’t have to be two weeks but to me this is the best way to leave a fed on good terms. Know exactly when you plan to leave, give the fed head a notice in advance and work with them to write your character off. This leaves the door open for a return as well as doesn’t make you look bad as a handler. Not many people can give a notice, but I strongly encourage it. Feel like you are getting burnt out? Let the fed head know that in a couple weeks you want to wrap up for a while. Want to join another fed? Give your current notice and let the new fed head know you would love to join after this period. it is a win/win for everyone involved.
I’m sure there are plenty of other types of tactics used when quitting an eFed that weren’t mentioned above. Make sure to comment below. Tell me what your experiences are. Do you agree with the above analogies? Disagree? Have stories to tell? I thank you for taking the time to read this and hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing it.